Thursday, May 31, 2018

You can stay home with your kids!~a book review


Money...it seems like it always comes up in conversations. Even if you're not discussing bills or income directly, it's there in the background as you talk about the value of an item, whether you'll have the funds to fulfill that dream, or make plans for summer break.

In her book, "You can stay home with your kids!", Erin Odom provides 100 "tips, tricks and ways to make it work on a budget". Whether you are trying to live on one income, working to pay off debt, or just trying to live on less so you can spend less time working and more time living life, this book is for you.  It isn't a textbook style budget book, but rather a cute and simple (but with a lovely cover!) book of tips.


                                                                    

The book covers saving money on everyday living expenses (use cold water for washing laundry), meal planning, planning celebrations on a budge, DIY household products, how to find free family activities, health care, clothes shopping, and adding income to your budget.

Being from a thrifty family, I already do many of the tips. However, there were some that I've heard of, but just haven't tried. Next on my list to make is our own hand soap and toothpaste. I'd also like to make more freezer meals or do large batch cooking, just to have things ready for crazy afternoons. I haven't read through her section on generating income yet, as I'm slowly thinking through each of her ideas. But I'm curious how to implement them as life definitely gets more expensive the more family members or pets we have.

I was very excited when I saw this book on the Booklook Bloggers review program, as Erin Odom was on my list of authors to read. Though this was a complementary review copy, all the opinions written above are mine. This is a quick read, full of helpful tips for living economically so you can spend your time/money on what matters most to you.

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Making room for the new

My violets have been in desperate need of trimming off the old blossoms and dead leaves, and I finally got around to it this week. You know those tasks you keep rewriting to the next day's to do list? Now I can officially mark it off. As I was pulling the dead leaves off one of my larger plants, my daughter asked me something like, "Mama, why you pull those off?" It must have seemed strange to her to see her mama pulling leaves off a plant after all the lectures she's heard about looking and not touching, being careful with flowers, etc.

"I have to pull off the dead stuff to make room for the new", I replied. 



Then I thought about my response more, and marveled at how true that is in all of my life. How many times have I heard God say lately, "You need to clean out the old stuff, so you can make room for the new seasons I'm bringing you".  Any gardener would laugh at the thought of that African Violet tenaciously clinging to it's dead blossoms despite the promise of new, fresh blossoms and baby leaves.
Yet, how often do I hold on to stuff, memories, old dreams, etc despite God's whispers to me of new seasons with new life.  


As we prepare for our next little one to arrive this year, my mind automatically starts wondering about space.  Where will they sleep? Where am I going to fit his/her clothes? How do I keep track of multiple sizes of diapers? Though I haven't gotten it done yet, I've mentally been making a list of areas that need to be cleaned out and stuff donated so I can fit in our new blessing. And not just 'stuff'', but there is a letting go of activities or old manners of doing things as our family grows.   I've been volunteering at Good News Club at the Elementary school for 6 or 7 years, and my littles have attended with me. But with our new addition coming, I've said farewell to that season.
While there may be grief in letting go of the old, there is also excitement in looking forward to the new. 


Without winter there couldn't be spring. Without a seed giving of itself, we could not have fresh growth. I've been processing what it means to minimize what is not essential, so I can maximize space and time for those people and activities we love most. I have so far to go, so don't look to me for solutions. If anyone has this all figured out, please share your ideas in the comments. :-)

And while it may be a slow process to trim away my old blossoms, I look forward to the new seasons promised me. 

Sunday, May 20, 2018

When you have to forgive the violet thief

There are two treasures that you don't touch in our house. You don't touch Papa's board games and you don't touch Mama's plants, specifically my African Violets. I've been raising them for probably  over 15 years and I constantly marvel at their delicate flowers.


Most of mine are this deep purple color, but at least one is pink.  In the past, I've had some mostly white ones, with just a touch of pink in them. Currently, I'm raising babies from my own plants to transplant and gift to friends and family. Since most of my violets are purple, I'm especially fond of other bloom colors.  My favorite lately was my pink one in full bloom.


I say was...because forgiveness was needed last week. While a friend was visiting on Monday, I showed her this pink one in full bloom.  My daughter asked to see it, so after giving her a reminder of "Don't touch the flowers, only look"  (which is the reminder I give her with our tulips outside) I turned back to my friend for five minutes.  Yes, I'm sure you can guess what happened.


My heart was crushed and I didn't know how to process it. There's no way to predict when it will bloom again. And clearly, they can't be glued back on.All I kept thinking was how this week's Bible study lesson was on forgiveness. What timing!  As our lesson clearly stated, I knew out of the vast ocean of forgiveness I had received, that I must forgive her too. (And compared to marker on the wall or chopping off her hair, this wasn't so bad)

My struggle wasn't  in if I could forgive her, but how to help her understand the cost of that forgiveness.  Forgiveness costs the giver something.  God's forgiveness of me cost Jesus his life.  My forgiveness to others comes out of the great storehouse of forgiveness I have received from God.   It is the relinquishing of a debt.


As I layed her down for her nap, I sobbed.  My heart was crushed, and she needed to know that though I still loved her and forgave her, my heart was still sad over her actions.  There was still a cost to her actions.  At her age, she is only sorrowful that our friendship is broken.  She tries every technique she can think of to make us "be friends" again. "I still love you mama". "Mama, your heart changed?  You're happy again?" "I'm sorry mama".  She is sorrowful that we are not friends, but not repentant over her actions.  She can recite back her wrong doing, but I wonder how much of it her heart understands.

So much of parenting has given me a living picture of my relationship with God. How many times am I sorrowful that I disappointed Him, without grieving my sinful choices?  How many times do I say I'm sorry, but yet that action may happen again? How many times does He faithfully forgive me, though I don't fully grasp the true cost of that forgiveness?

Ahh, my dearest daughter, you and I have much to learn in this area of repentance and forgiveness. Together, we will learn to admit our wrongs, ask for forgiveness from the heart, and be deeply grateful when that cost is paid in the form of forgiveness.

We're in this together.


PS. Let me know in the comments if you have any tips on helping children understand apologies, admitting wrong, forgiveness, ect.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Only half the picture: or when the obedient children of today turn into tomorrow's drama

This last Wednesday, a random stranger stopped me at the library to marvel at the obedience of my toddler. Yes, let's stop to wonder at that for a moment......for it may never happen again. We had pulled up to the library, and my toddler was waiting for me to get the little one out. This gentleman stopped to complement me on how she stayed right with me, and asked how I trained her to do that. He explained that his own children usually bolt in a million directions. Caught off guard, I initially responded, "lots of prayer!" But then followed it up with something about clear directions, follow through, consequences, and timeouts to think about what a better choice would be. My answer may have sounded a bit mixed up as I was completely caught off guard.

I went home feeling validated that at least a small part of my work had payed off...for a moment.

But the man only saw half the picture. He never saw the next morning as she cried and whined, and complained about everything. Or heard my desperate prayers for God's help. Or saw how much I just wanted to put her in timeout and shut the door for some moments of peace. He never saw us Friday morning when I had to hot glue the bear she broke back together, or when she had to clean up the cats' water she spread all over the floor.  He only saw half the picture.


How often do I look at someone's snapshot and immediately judge that their whole life must be as marvelous as this "half picture".   Seeing Instagram pictures, smiling children on Sunday, or seeing a person in public vs. as they really are at home, gives us only half the picture of their life. My obedient child of Wednesday turned into my drama child of Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.  I know I often fall prey to feeling like I don't measure up after viewing other's shining moments. But it's because I don't see their sink of dishes or toddler tantrums. 

Equally wrong is when I only look at a snapshot of my life, and believe that to be the whole picture. If I only look at her tantrums this weekend, or the Cheerios on the freshly swept floor, I quickly feel exhausted.  But I would miss our tea parties and nature hikes. I would miss our morning devotions, and night time songs. I would only see half my picture. 



So if your day feels like a cracked bear hot glued together....

Or like you're living the dream......

Remember, that moment is only half the picture.  Let's celebrate moments in our friends' lives....while remembering they are real people with messy moments too. And let's hold on to the memories of strangers complementing our child's obedience to get us through the days of wet floors and tantrums.  Let's look at the whole picture. Let's live in grace.  Grace for ourselves, and grace for others. Let's celebrate the moments in each of our lives that are beautiful.  And cheer each other on, on the days when the only thing we are thankful for is that not every day is like this.

We're in this together.

Friday, May 4, 2018

A precious treasure


Your heart pounded as the king solemnly explained his mission to your surprised ears. You, an ordinary person of a humble lineage, were to carry one of his crown jewels through treacherous forests to be received by the king's son when he reentered the kingdom. "It will not be an easy journey," he continued.  "Many will seek to disorient you, and turn you toward another kingdom. You will hear naysayers, and voices of doubt and fear. There are those who will question why you would risk your life and lay it all on the line for me, when you could be back in the comfort of your home, in the land of self indulgence. 

I did not choose you because you were the most brave, wise, noble, affluent or strong. I chose you because I know your heart...that you are loyal. A man or woman who has crossed the line, signed the roster, pledged his/her allegiance without looking back is worth more to any king, than any special 'gifts' one may have."

As you set out on your journey, his words echoed in your head....'loyal'. You knew that you had nothing to offer to your king....except loyalty.  That though this treasure didn't belong to you, nor was any reward promised, you would live or die to deliver it to the Son.   You would guard it with your life, surrendering comfort and ease for a journey of servant-hood and trials. Then, when you met the King's Son, as he returned home, you would present this treasure joyfully into his care. You would simply state, "I have simply done my duty, as a servant of my King." 
~~~~~

Last weekend, I was discussing education choices with a dear mama friend, and I made the statement "you have some precious treasures", to which she obviously agreed. As I thought about this statement later on, I processed how true it is.  How often have you seen a parent give all they have so their child could have a better education than they did?  How often have you seen teachers bend over backwards to help a struggling student?  Children are our 'precious treasure', for which we gladly pour ourselves out. Even in exhaustion, a mother still rises in the early morning to feed a crying baby.  Even in weariness, a teacher still plans interventions to meet each level of students. 


But in the end, they are never really ours. They are lent to us by our King. And in the end, when his Son returns, we will present these precious ones back to him and say, " I have simply done my duty, as a servant of my King." And He will respond with those words we have eagerly desired to hear, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." (Matthew 25:23)

All He asks for is our loyalty, He will take care of the rest.