Dreaming of all the things!

So you guys know one of my goals this year was to learn to cook "all the things". So it only seems fitting that my Mother's Day gift was this delightful book The Prairie Homestead Cookbook by Jill Winger!  And I just received From Freezer to Table and Love Real Food  in the mail for my birthday. :-)  Now....to make the time to read through the recipes instead of just making what I'm comfortable with.....

I just finished reading The Prairie Homestead Cookbook and totally loved it! Yes, I said reading it.  It's so much more than a cookbook. It contains tips, anecdotes, notes on how to raise chickens and cows, gardening how-to's, pantry must haves, canning instructions, and how to preserve crispy pickles. It's like a manual on how to do basic homesteading. :-)

As Jill talks about in her book (and I agree with) there's a misunderstanding out there that "homesteading" is all or nothing. That you either cook all your own food from scratch or you don't.  But she suggests that there are many different versions of 'homesteading' and I'll add that there are different levels of homesteading.  In today's society, it's not realistic to have a full garden or raise your own animals when many people live in apartments, townhouses, full shade yards so things don't grow well (like ours), or work hours that make it difficult to complete tasks at home. 

Just like in my post The Way to Big Things is Small Steps , the important thing is to start somewhere. I can't garden at my house, but I can have a plot at the local community garden. During this last pregnancy, I stopped making kombucha and milk kefir because I couldn't handle anything extra during a season of tough morning sickness. (Note: I still haven't started doing those things, because.....toddlers).  But I can make my own yogurt in the Instant Pot and our bread in the bread machine. (I'm so thankful for kitchen machines!)

There are some people who do more 'homesteading' while living in the city than some who live in the country. 'Homesteading' isn't so much about location as a personal decision to make more things from scratch, to know where your food comes from, and learning new skills to become self-sufficient.  

Honestly...around here....new cooking skills are slow to come. Time seems to go so fast with three littles running around that I usually resort to things we've done before. As with anything, it takes practice.  These hot pockets in the picture above....were amazing but I only made them once as the dough needs to be started during the day (which means I have to think about supper way in advance). But the biscuits and gravy below have been made so many times, the recipe is almost memorized!  I love that I can make a double batch of the biscuits and freeze them in smaller portions to toss in the oven for quick biscuits and gravy. There's not time to cook full meals everyday, but I can double something and freeze part of it to pull out next time. 

One of the big points in the introduction to the book was just to do .....something. Too often we get overwhelmed by looking at what others are doing, or the big goal seems so far away that we never even take the first step. Our youngest has been learning to crawl and pull herself up on furniture over the last month. Imagine if she were to see her siblings running around and go cry in the corner because she couldn't run like a preschooler yet. We would think it's silly because as adults we know that it takes practice and time (and lots of frustrated grunts) for her, as a baby, to learn to stand, walk and eventually run. Yet, we don't give ourselves the same grace for our adult goals.

How about you? What one step can you take towards your goal?  Is there a recipe or skill you want to learn? Is there a book to read or a person to contact? Let's give ourselves the grace of practice, time and yes.... 'frustrated grunts'. Believe me, I've had plenty of bread loaves not turn out, food get burned, and my family politely eat food that hadn't turned out as I planned. I'm sure I've uttered many frustrated grunts along the way. :-)  But let's keep taking steps together!

Sojourning with you, 

Felicia

Being grateful while you are in the middle of everything!

Hello,
Hopefully you are able to stay cool this week!  We've been having 90's coupled with humidity, so we are staying indoors each afternoon. Since summer came, my reading has certainly slacked off.  I keep seeing these posts about people's summer book lists since they aren't busy with school. Do you read more in the summer or winter? 

Speaking of books, I just finished a delightful book by one of my favorite authors, The Middle Matters. Lisa-Jo Baker wrote this book as a series of essays or love letters for the middle years of raising kiddos. We certainly live in an age where 'more', 'better', 'faster' is pushed, and there's a plethora of information available to us on how to improve our life. I know I'm constantly pinning things or saving them to boards on Instagram. But what if we stepped back and just marveled at the beauty of our current season, instead of rushing to the next one.

This is not a deep read (you know the kind you read with a notebook in hand, which are good but take you a really long time to read), no this is a relaxing read. The kind you can totally read while you rock the baby swing, hold a kid, squeeze into a few free moments between kitchen duties, or relax with an ice tea in the evening.  It was an easy, refreshing read that was like small moments with a dear friend tucked into the busyness of life. :-)

Here's some of the nuggets I loved:

"This throbbing harmony of how loved we are. If only we would listen. If only we would stop listening to our measuring sticks and scales, these voices that we need to quit, and start listening to our promises. For God Himself says, "I will never leave you or abandon you" (Hebrews 13:5, CSB)."

"Forty, I discover, is a new beginning, and my friends hold the door wide open for me. A welcome arrival into a time when we get to choose more of what we love and less of what we used to think mattered. More friendship, less comparison. More generosity, less competition.  More slow, less rush. More savor, less striving. More gathering, less hosting. More casual, less stressed. .....Where you can make room at the table for your sisters coming up behind you, as well as those already further down the road. ...Where you know deep down in your bones that we are better together because we are all part of a body infinitely valuable to the God who names each one of us priceless."

"Compassion leans in and listens. Fear screams and chases us away. Fear is a terrible teacher and an even worse parent."

"We live in a world where the Enemy wants to trick us women into building walls between one another. Walls of comparison and insecurity and jealousy. But we are mentored by a God who builds walls of protection around His friends. A God who willingly walked into the dark to trade His life for the lives of His friends. Those who betrayed Him, denied Him, and abandoned Him. Those who hadn't been born yet and those who don't even know His name. He laid down His life and in so doing raised a fortress of protection with walls thicker than the castle of our fairy tales-solid and unshakable." 

I don't know about you, but most of the posts I save on Pinterest or Instagram are snapshots of the life I want to create with my family. Often dreams can seem far away and difficult to reach. But I've been realizing lately, that truly we have arrived. Our goals for our littles are to love Jesus, care for family and friends, and care for this world around us. When I hear them sing our memory verse songs, see them help me unload the dishwasher, and watch them marvel over ants and butterflies, I realize this is the moment we have dreamed of.  Everything else is a progression from this moment. And as much as I'm excited to see how they grow, I'm celebrating this season of adventure and exploration. :-)

As Lisa-Jo talks about in her book, there is such beauty in friendships proven through time and shared grief and joy. There is inexpressible joy in seeing your child develop in his/her character. There is romance in faithfulness and steadfast serving of one another. There is beauty in the ordinary moments of life lived together. 

Pick up this book if you want an easy light reading that celebrates the beauty of life, children, marriage and friendship.  It reads like notes from a dear friend that you can sneak into quick 15 minute breaks in the busyness of life. 

Celebrating each season with you,

Felicia

This book was given as complementary copy by NetGalley and WaterBrook & Multnomah, in exchange for my honest review.  However all opinions are mine (I have the highlighted sections to prove it!). 

7 lessons in 7 years: part 2

Since last time's post went much longer than I expected, here are the remaining three lessons. If you didn't read that one, you can find it here.

5. Find out what's most important to the other person. This could be in figuring out their love language. It could also mean what's most important to them in caring for the house. It's also figuring out what's most annoying to them if it doesn't happen, then make sure it does! :-) My husband is a great chef, but is highly bothered by mess. So he's totally fine with cooking supper each night, as long as I keep the kitchen in decent shape so he has space to work.  Each person has a different way they receive value and different priorities for family life.

6. Listen to God. The biggest piece of marriage advice I would give anyone is listen to the Holy Spirit. Over and over again in the middle of a frustrating conversation, one of us takes a breather then comes back to apologize. You'll often find me stepping into another room, or silently praying for help when things get tense. More often than not, my heart is softened and my half of the problem is pointed out by the Holy Spirit. I've also learned that I don't need to point out his wrongs. If I leave it be, I can trust Jesus to change his heart as well. The key is I have to listen.  The Spirit is waiting to convict, soften hearts, and restore...but I have to be ready to hear it and act on it.

7. Celebrate with Cherry Coke! He proposed to me over Cherry Coke (like he seriously drove us to town to buy Cherry Cokes and back to my parents house again, so he could get over his nerves to ask me to marry him), and Cherry Coke was a requirement in our hospital bag for our first baby. It's our 'go to' when the kids get stressful, and it was a staple for date night (until we started trying to be healthy).  Find something that is 'your thing'.  Something that is part of your culture as a couple/family.

I dream big dreams and I want big growth/progress moments. But what I'm learning in life is also true in marriage. Small repeated actions lead to health. Brushing my teeth daily, working out for 30 minutes most mornings, drinking water, choosing a salad.......they aren't really 'fun' but they support my bigger goals.  In marriage, small repeated actions that speak value to the other person provides the strength needed to keep saying "I do" even on the sleepless nights when all the kids are up in the night, and everyone is grumpy.

Here's to saying "I do" everyday through small ordinary actions.

Sojourning together,
Felicia

7 lessons in 7 years

This last week we celebrated our 7 year wedding anniversary. Time goes so fast!  Our lives are full, often tired, but so very thankful!  I feel like many movies focus on the sappy drama of meeting someone new or the sad drama of losing someone. But there so much day to day life that happens in between. Laughter, sadness, frustration, joy and....yes....even arguments. So here's my contribution to the beauty of everyday life. Here's 7 lessons learned in 7 years of marriage. Though I'm sure there are many others, this is just what came to mind.

1. The power of doing the little things: My husband lives for his cup of coffee in the morning.  Believe me.....you don't disturb that first cup while he sits on the couch waking up. Tomorrow I'm heading out for a retreat, and he has bravely determined he will watch our littles on his own for the day. I know in order for it to be a successful morning....there must be coffee.  So I've already prepped the coffee maker for him tomorrow. I don't need to have a banner fly behind a plane, or buy an expensive gift, or grill him specialty steaks (he's better at grilling anyway) in order for him to feel loved and cared for. He hears it when I prep the coffee, plan the dinner, sweep the floor or do the dishes.

Often he'll come home from work with some treat he knows I like or he'll make sure to do the dishes (because he knows I hate dishes).  Little things speak volumes.  I read a story once where a man pinpointed the downfall of his marriage to him deciding he was tired of making the morning coffee for his wife.  When he decided to neglect that chore, she decided she didn't feel like packing his lunch anymore. Each action led to another until all the subtle messages of love and support were gone, and their marriage fell apart.

My husband is a capable man and can make coffee, clean the house and cook amazing food. But when I'm faithful in the little things, he hears the message that his success and comfort are top priorities to me.  

2. Own your wrong first: This last weekend, we kept joking that we have had "7 years of marital bliss, with nary an angry word between us!".  As anyone who knows us can attest, we are not quiet people.  And we are human with our own personalities.  Miscommunication and arguments are bound to happen.

 But the key is owning your own wrongdoing first. 

When we each clean up our own part of the mess first, there's not much left to argue over.  When the health of the relationship is your top goal, it makes it much easier to quickly admit where you are wrong. (Note: I didn't say it was 'easy', I said it was easier.)


3. Share household responsibilities in accordance with each person's gifts and personal preferences: My husband loves cooking and he's very good at it, so often he's in charge of that while I watch the kids, clean the kitchen etc. He hates painting and I don't mind it.   So it was a relief to both of us when he gave that task to me! :-)  He no longer needed to worry about it, and I didn't have to nag or wait until he got around to repainting the bathroom or kitchen trim.  If possible share tasks based on preferences.

4. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk talk....(do you get the idea?): I know when my phone rings that it's my husband.... usually because hardly anyone else calls me. But mostly because he makes it a point to call me each day mid-morning when he's on his 15 min walk, and sometimes in the afternoon on the way back from lunch. We text throughout the day, and he's the first person I want to share anything with . 

When you stop talking, you stop getting to know someone. 

I've heard many stories of empty nesters who find themselves with nothing in common, because they didn't keep talking. Clearly talking after having kids isn't as easy as before.  Little interruptions to the conversation are running around the living room. Conversations require creativity. Sometimes they happen during supper prep, or after the kids are dismissed from the meal. They may happen during the 10 minute phone call in the morning, or after the kids are in bed. Or simply through a series of text messages during the day. We also like doing Marco Polo videos....mostly to share the chaos of the day with my husband who sits in his quiet cubicle all day. :-) 

Ooops! This post is going way longer than I was planning....so I'll close with only 4 lessons and continue with the rest next time. 

Remember to keep talking with those you care about. :-)

Sojourning together, 

Felicia

Midyear Goals Update

I feel like summer took forever to start and now it is rushing by!  My husband just had his monthly manager meeting today, and I said "All ready? I feel like you just had one!" We just celebrated Father's Day and it's already the weekend again. Time flies when you have three little ones running and scooting at tornado speed and making just as much of a mess!  The phrase "Trying to clean house with little ones is like trying to sweep during a tornado" is so true! 

Our 7 year wedding anniversary is coming up and we've often thought about how much has changed in those 7 years. The most obvious change is that we used to sleep, eat hot food, and go places whenever we wanted. I hear through the grapevine that we'll get to do those three things again when they get older. :-)  But for now, with my cold food and cup of coffee, I'm just going to enjoy their antics, imaginary adventures, and curiosity about the world. 

Goals:

1. Read 12 books this year 

Update: I finished Cozy Minimalist Home, Peter Pan, Sacred Holidays, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle , Farmer Boy,and Faith.

 I'm currently reading The Life Giving Parent by Clay and Sally Clarkson, Mother Culture by Karen Andreola, The Middle Matters by Lisa Jo Baker, and The Prairie Homestead Cookbook by Jill Winger (this one is part cookbook/part beginning homestead book....and I LOVE it!)

The Middle Matters is a prerelease copy of Lisa-Jo Baker's newest book. I LOVED her other two books Never Unfriended and Surprised by Motherhood, and was eager to read this one. While I haven't loved it as much as the first two, it is definitely a delightful and inspiring read.  I have highlighted so many quotes and shared them on my Instagram account.  It's a series of essays on lessons learned in the 'middle of life' on parenting, friendship, marriage, hospitality, homemaking, etc. It is written in a vary different style than her first two books, but still maintains her insightful perspective on life. 

2. Explore the alphabet with my preschooler: Goal completed. 

I've been thinking on how to develop our "Morning Time" or Morning Meeting. Each day during breakfast, the kids and I read the Bible and pray (between cleaning up messes, grabbing more food, telling the kids not to stand in their chairs...you get the picture). On my 'good' days :-) I try to add a bit more to it. Currently we've been reading the Action Bible which is written as a comic book, Sing a Song of Seasons:a Nature Poem for Each Day of the Year (borrowed from the library), and sometimes a picture book or preschool workbook. 

My oldest just got water color paints and a bunch of art supplies for her birthday, so I've been trying to encourage her to step out in making things on her own. I'd also love for us both to learn about using water colors and colored pencils to do nature journals (one day......).

3. Identify 5 plants/tracks: I think it would be amazing to be able to go on our nature hikes and …..gasp….name what I’m looking at. But, alas! I have no idea. So I ordered some books to give me some clues. 

Update: Technically.....my goal is completed. But is learning about nature ever a completed goal? I think not. We've been enjoying the flowers in our yard lately. 

Spiraea

Irises

4. Get rid of 50 things: 

Update: We now have a couple heaping boxes ready to donate which would totally complete this goal......but they are still waiting here. 

5. Learn to make more things from scratch.

Update: We bought an ice cream maker and made oh so yummy mango frozen yogurt!

It only contains pureed mangos, homemade plain yogurt, sugar, maple syrup, and vanilla. 5 ingredients!  Mmmmm! We bought the freezer bowl ice cream maker version so we don't have to worry about having ice and salt on hand. We used a recipe from The Prairie Homestead Cookbook or you could use this one from the website. 

I also made these delicious ham and cheese pockets from my new Prairie Homestead cookbook!  They were sooo good!  They were fairly easy.....as long as you remember to mix the dough ahead of time so it has time to rise. They also made for an easy leftover lunch the next day. 

6. Prepare for secret project:  making progress

7. Blog/writing (I have ideas…but life seems to take all my time)

Update: At least I'm writing each week...mostly. It definitely is life giving to be able to write. 

8. Finish 2nd kids baby book and do the 3rd kid’s book: no updates....just wishful thinking.

9. Clean out freezer and use up pantry (you know all those unmarked surprise dishes you find in the back of your freezer? yah….)

Update: Mmmm, today I used the leftover butter milk to make buttermilk wholewheat flax seed bread. :-)  It looks wonderful! 

10. Do 10 projects with the little ones. 

Update: I'm thinking I need to redefine this goal. We made cereal box guitars with rubber bands so that counts as a "project".  And today we made a cardboard airplane. But I still feel like our zoo trips, library visits, nature walks, planting the garden, watering the deck plants, riding bikes, visiting the spray park, playing games, and coloring should count for something in this goal.....

How about you? How are you doing with your goals for this year? What's your next baby step? Remember, the only way to eat an elephant is to take one bite at a time. (Though I'm not saying you should eat elephants...)

I'd like to close with this thought from one of my favorite podcasts/blogs. "See needs and meet them."-Risen Motherhood  I taped this phrase above my sink to remind my own heart and to help me as I guide my children in developing servant hearts for those around them. 

Is there something that you need? Something you'd like to learn more about or like to read more of? Something you would like me to be praying for you in? Send me a message on Instagram or Facebook, or comment below. 

Sojourning with you,

Felicia

When no is actually an invitation: replacing discontentment with gratitude

Two weeks ago, while I was putting up the garden fence at our community garden plot, I met a new gardener building her bean trellis. She was glowing with new gardener excitement and she was filled with ambitions, as she told me her story and we talked about what she was planting.  As we talked, I fell prey to the comparison trap and started comparing her grand 1st year garden with my scaled down garden.  Discontentment flooded in as I started feeling the need to haul all my garden stuff in and plant "all the things" like she was doing. Suddenly I wasn't content with my situation anymore.

But then I remembered the exhaustion of hauling the cucumber wire frames and garden fencing back and forth the last five years to our community garden plot, and the stress of multitasking seed planting and keeping the kids entertained, and the impossibility of taking three little ones there to weed with me (I'm sure I would see my precious vegetables end up in the weed pile because they were being "helpful").  And I realized that the answer to my big garden dream in this season was truly.....'no'.

As I stopped to listen to God's still quiet voice, He told me "This 'no' to your big plans is not forever.  Soon, your dream will happen.  But in this season you'll need to set aside that dream. This 'no' is actually a 'yes'. It's an invitation to what I've prepared for you to enjoy in this season.  Because of your simplified plans, you'll have more time to spend in adventures with your kids.  You can plan summer activities with . And you can get things in order for when I grant your dream to you soon."

As I pulled out my planner and began to write, a list formed of new goals for this summer season. I began to dream of adventures to be had, and projects to be completed that would prepare us for future goals. Instead of discontentment over this 'no', gratitude for all the yes's filled me.  Yes, I can get that basement done. Yes, I can makes crafts with my kiddos. Yes, I can plan weekly playdates to soak up our short summer with friends. Yes, I can plan hiking days, zoo days, spray park, playground, etc.  Yes, yes, yes......all replaced my 'no'. 

How about you? Is there a 'no' to a specific dream you are struggling with? Is God instead inviting you to new dreams in this season? The 'no' may not be forever.  But if we get stuck dwelling on it, we'll miss out on everything He wants to say 'yes' to. 

The caterpillar wants to keep going on grand caterpillar adventures, but it must go through a season of quietness and transformation before it is ready to soar as a butterfly. 

Sojourning with you,

Felicia

Growth hurts

A friend once told me that God answered her prayers by helping her learn to cook and I heard on the Risen Motherhood podcast that God helped her in learning to keep house......

This got me to thinking. If Jesus can part seas, calm storms, multiply bread and fish, raise the dead, etc.......then growing me in the things that weigh on my heart must be doable.  Compared to all that, organizing my laundry room, getting anything accomplished while raising three littles, navigating the energy level of a toddler boy, and keeping the dishes at a maintainable level must be simple...right? So instead of praying for world peace, right now I'm just praying for peace here and that we would be messengers of peace to others. Literally my morning prayers with my kids are "help us to get our jobs done and help us to be a blessing to others".  Because when you are navigating sibling squabbles, a hungry baby, and a barking dog...only by God's strength can you accomplish big things.

But the thing about growth, is that sometimes it hurts. Sometimes Jesus has to poke at the time wasters, stinky attitudes, 'me first' mentality, and selfishness and pull off all the dead stuff before He can do a new work. Sometimes I just want a moment of mindless scrolling, but then I hear the gentle  reminder of what I need to be doing. And little by little, as I listen to His voice, He pulls the dead stuff off so I can begin to develop new habits of growth. Sometimes that looks like making sure I get up early enough to start the day before the kids, while other times it looks like having the dishwasher ready so my helpful husband can load the supper dishes in. It's definitely not choosing the easy route!

Sometimes growth is messy. There's words said, and tension built. There's tears, prayers, and long conversations. Sometimes you wonder how you'll ever grow past this hurdle. I don't have the answers for I wonder the same things for myself.  I especially wonder it as I raise a little "mini me", a daughter who walks in my footsteps with all the emotions and tendencies. But mess can be cleaned up when the project is done. And I trust the Master Gardener to skillfully work the soil of my life to grow healthy plants....even if it's messy in the process.

 Sometimes growth can feel isolating. It can feel a bit like having a cozy life of 3 or 4 baby plants all growing in the same container and feeling happy all squished together. Meanwhile, the Master Gardener knows that eventually you will all grow big enough to need your own space, and that what was once a "good fit" for you is now unhealthy.  It can feel isolating and stressful to be ripped out of your place and replanted in a new pot. But it is still.....best.  The Lord knows my optimal growing conditions and what I need to survive. 6 years ago, I stepped down from serving in youth ministry with one of my best friends. It felt a bit like being ripped out of a pot where we were all growing together. But I have totally loved facilitating Women's Bible Study these last 6 years, which wouldn't have been possible if I had clung to the sides of my little pot and refused to trust the Master Gardener. 

And let me remind you, Jesus raised the dead. Even if you feel like my poor violet whose stem started rotting from the roots up.....Jesus raises the dead. Sometimes, conditions like these call for drastic measures like cutting off the root system and placing the freshly cut crown into new soil inside a miniature greenhouse in hopes of saving the plant. Trust the Master Gardener. He has your best interests in mind. 

Where ever you are on your journey, with dead leaves waiting to be cleaned out, feeling isolated in a season of tough growth, or flourishing with hope in a new place, trust the Master Gardener.  He will not neglect his garden or toss you aside. He has plans for you to bloom again though the growth process is painful, messy, isolating, and uncomfortable. Those blooms will seem even more beautiful when you consider the journey you've been on. 

Sojourning with you,

Felicia