Know your limits

I wish I was a super hero..... young and with unlimited time and energy.  I have such big dreams for what I want to accomplish each week, but I fall short of those goals every time. This last week I've been especially mindful of my new personal limits.  From Sunday through Wednesday, I had pretty rough headaches which were (I think) still part of my recovery from having this cute little baby . Then Tuesday, I invited a friend over to bake cookies and bread with us. I was such a mess with a bad headache, trying to care for the baby, help the crying toddler, bake/decorate cookies, bake bread, and entertain my guest. It all turned out fine and everyone had fun, but I was exhausted! At the end of the day, I told my husband "I'm realizing my limits are lower than they used to be."

In order to say "yes" to the best things, you have to say "no" to other things. And because I've said 'yes' to three beautiful children, I have to say 'no' to other good things.  I don't have the mental capacity or time to do it all. With each little one I have, and family activity we commit to, my limits for other activities decrease. 

We each have limits that fluctuate through the seasons and years.  Sickness, moves, having a baby, being exhausted from toddlers, caring for aging family members, time sensitive projects, emotionally rough seasons.....all of this affects our limits on what we can say 'yes' to. 

This doesn't make me a bad mom. Though I often feel like it because I can't keep up with all the books to read, learning activities I should be doing, etc.  (If I can just keep up with the dishes, I'll be happy!) I recently compared myself with someone else who started a project similar to mine, and felt like a loser because of her success rate.  Until I realized that it wasn't our ability, but rather what we had chosen to say 'yes' to. My strongest 'yes's' will always be to my family and keeping my littles at home.  Because of this, I can't say 'yes' to as much, nor be able to give as much time to my personal projects. This makes me a better mom, better friend, better person to know my limits and not allow myself to needlessly run to the point of exhaustion (though there will still be moments).

This Christmas, and really....all year round, instead of comparing our holiday or our regular days with some invented standard and feeling frustrated with not measuring up. Let's rejoice in our 'yes's', and do our best to fulfill them.  

For some who have recently lost someone, that may mean taking a break from holiday festivities this year. For me, it means less cards sent, less baking, less pretty packages (that will get ripped open by toddlers if left unsupervised), and more time spent creating memories. 

Let's choose the best yes's, know our limits, and be ok with the no's.  Let's do our best at what is most important, and let the rest go.

Merry Christmas!  May your weekend be peaceful and full of the wonder of His birth and time with dear ones. 

Quick moments of slow

I can hardly believe that Christmas is in a week and a half!  Do you feel like I do that it seems so far away, then 'Bam!' it's next week?  I think Christmas may just carry through January for us, because there's no way we can read all the Christmas books or do all the Advent activities I want to before then.

I started out this Advent season with many dreams of the books we would read, crafts done, and activities experienced together.  But then....you guessed it....life happened. We have read books, and made a couple crafts, but there have been many hurried mornings where there wasn't time to count our advent chain or read our books. Diapers, breakfast, the dog or crying children demand my attention, and leave little room for advent dreams.

My unrealistic, idealist dream would be to spend all next week in my jammies, reading Christmas books, baking, and doing crafty things. But reality?  There's still grocery shopping, laundry and dishes (especially if we bake), and house cleaning (that I skipped this week, so I can't really skip next week).  The toddler and preschooler will still fight, and diapers will need to be changed. Reality is a lot messier than my dream week.

But reality makes the quick moments of slow even more special. When we squeeze in a craft, it's a brief moment to pause.  Like coming up for air or taking a sip of cold water on a hot day. It's what makes the messy diapers, the potty training accidents, the tantrums, and exhaustion worth it. When we can slowdown together to remember our Savior coming to join us in our messy world.

Can I let you in on a secret? Some of my favorite moments of the day are when the baby refuses to sleep just yet, and I get to snuggle her after everyone else has gone to sleep....and it's quiet...perfectly quiet. Everything is still, and holy, and I just get to 'be' in that moment and smell her sweet little head. The Christmas lights give off a special glow in the late night hours. But those moments don't last forever, as I'm usually quiet tired and need to head to bed.  The alarm will go off early even if I'm up late.

What's your quick moment of slow?  Perhaps it's to pause to drink your cup of tea each afternoon.  Or your morning walk, or listening to Christmas songs while you do the dishes.  Perhaps you also sit for a few moments to enjoy the lights, and reflect your blessings.

These quick moments remind us that there is more than the hustle and business of work and housework.  There are people to love, events to celebrate, blessings to give thanks for, a world to explore, and a Savior born here for us.

 A sweet friend wisely shared this week that we all have "Instagram worthy" moments, it's just a matter of seeing them the right way.  I don't know about you, but I often long for the quiet peaceful moments  and festive activities I see on my Instagram account.   But reality is, those pictures were probably taking in just as messy of a setting as my own household, but they applied a filter to the photo to bring out the beauty of it. Today we made gingerbread cookies, and baked the pieces to make a gingerbread house later. It was a messy process multitasking the dough, the crying toddler, the barking dog, and timing the baking just right. But if you looked closely, past the noise, the smelly trash can, and toddler crys.....there was an "Instagram moment" where daddy and daughter worked together to cut out tiny gingerbread trees.

As we count down the days till Christmas, may you have many quick moments of slow. Moments where you slow down, even for a five minute moment, to just enjoy the season, lights, and ponder our Savior's birth again. As you sip your hot chocolate, remember your blessings.

This year I'm thankful for little ones who rejoice in all the activities, a husband who grants my holiday wishes, and my Savior who lovingly came to live in our mess so we can go live with Him one day.

Merry Christmas!
Felicia

P.S. I read through this book and enjoyed it!


The Nesting Place (affiliate link)
It's all about making your home welcoming, and creating a simple beautiful space for people to come and relax. You don't need fancy furniture or upscale decorations.  Just simple items arraigned to create a place of rest.

When your Advent season is kinda messy....

I've been super excited to add to our Christmas activities this year as our daughter is old enough to understand it's Jesus' birthday, loves books, knows presents are coming, loves any sort of craft/baking/etc that we can do. We made an advent 'Names of Jesus' countdown paper chain, and we are reading tons of books from the library.  The library has so many Christmas books, that I seriously think we'll be reading Christmas books all through January. 

But Advent can be kinda messy.  It's spent reading through one of our Christmas books, while simultaneously feeding the baby, giving more bread to the toddler, and trying to sneak in my own breakfast. It's spent reading our nightly 'Jesse Tree' story while trying to keep the book out of a snotty toddlers hands. It's spent explaining to a bawling preschooler that the reason you aren't putting the shepherd out with the nativity set yet, is that she gets to look for him each morning along with our book/activity for the day. (yes, she really did have a come apart when she saw he was missing).  At times, I wonder if it's worth the work put in to celebrate Advent.

This Advent season is messy. 

I spent this morning at a memorial service for a beloved mom of five, who lost her life to cancer. She lived her life fully to the end, and was not afraid to die because she knew Jesus was waiting for her.  But she left behind her heartbroken husband of over 25 years. five children, and family and friends.  Everyone was brought to tears by the touching eulogy her husband wrote and shared for her. 

This Advent season is messy. 

But, wasn't Jesus' "Advent season" messy too? He spent it in a cow's feeding trough, with animals all around. Born in an animal shelter because no one had space for him. His party guests included the shepherds fresh from the field (like they probably smelled of sheep and field). In less than 2 years, he would have to flee for his life from the king right after receiving grand gifts from foreign travelers.  Jesus knows all about 'messy advents'.  He came to earth to be in our mess. Jesus came to set people free from the mess of sin, and to restore all the broken messes of the past. He came to bring new life, and a hope that surpasses all the messes of this world.  Jesus specializes in messes, and restoring messed up people. 

So this advent season, whether you are in the middle of diaper changes, puke clean ups, and potty training, or whether you are reeling with difficult news that you never expected...remember that messes are Jesus' specialty. He restores us from the messes of our past, and he walks us through the messes of our present. Advent is a season of waiting and anticipation. Anticipating Christmas with all its festivities, laughter, food and gifts.  But an even greater anticipation of Jesus' return to rescue us from our mess and take us to be with Him forever. 

Advent can be messy......but Jesus specializes in redeeming broken messes. 

"Even so, come, Lord Jesus!" Rev. 22:20

Savor

This last weekend we celebrated "Thanksmas", our Thanksgiving/Christmas holiday joined together since not everyone will be able to travel back for Christmas.  The kids are enjoying their new toys and we are thankful for the new memories made as our family grows. Our holidays used to be quieter without the younger 5 grandchildren, but we are so thankful for them. Holidays are now spent differently, with kids constantly interrupting conversations, and diapers needing to be changed. Meals are a lot more "active" with five little ones around the table. Thankfully, we were able to simultaneously nap at least 3 of the 5 younger kiddos so the guys could squeeze a board game into our magical "quiet hour". :-) 

As we are still cleaning up from Thanksgiving and preparing to take down the fall decor and make way for Advent starting this weekend, the word that comes to mind is 'savor'. Too easily, I get busy with all that needs to be done and I forget to simply savor that moment. This last weekend, I was thankful to have many moments with my sister in-law while our children played together. We only see them twice a year, so I 'savored' those conversations.

(my mom's beautiful pantry)

I also savored the moments with my mom and sister spent in the kitchen preparing food for all of us, or cleaning up the never ending pile of dishes. Those moments are what make the depth of relationship.  My brother, in commenting on some changes we've made since adding in more kiddos, said something worth remembering. He said it's not the place we meet, but the people that are the main thing. It's easy to focus on the activities or space around us and miss the people.

Everyday, I read bedtime stories at least once or twice, but today I noted the soft hand of my toddler resting on mine while I read. Everyday, I feed my baby multiple times, but today I worked on making her smile afterwards. This weekend is the beginning of Advent, and I'm super excited to start reading our huge pile of Christmas books from the library, read our "Names of Jesus" countdown chain each day, put up our Jesse Tree ornaments, and our try out our DIY Shepherd on the Search.  My goal is to 'savor' this season with the excitement of a three year old.  Which, if you know a three year old, is pretty intense.

How do you plan to 'savor' this season or the time spent with people around you?

Thanks!

This time of year remind us of something that we should be doing all year round. Eating pumpkin pie? Yes, I firmly believe everyone needs more pie!  But actually I'm referring to something much more important. 

Giving thanks.

So here's my thanks...

T- time...slow times.  Times where you sip tea and relish a good book. Times where you watch the children's excitement as they build a tower together. Time where you light a candle, pull out a thrift store tea pot decoration and a picture book....and suddenly it becomes a magical "tea time" with your preschooler. Time where you go for a simple walk to the mailbox, but you walk slow enough to pick up walnut shells to add to our nature treasure box. 

H-home...It doesn't matter if it's a house, apartment, dorm room, rental or your own. Home is where your heart finds a place to rest.  It's the ambiance you create to welcome in weary people, and send them off refreshed. It's where your loved ones gather in. 

A-acceptance...Accepted by my family in-spite of my grumpy days, forgetful mom brain, or  tiredness. Accepted by my friends in-spite of my quirks, and forgetfulness to check in with them.  Accepted by my Savior in-spite of my sin, selfishness, and pride. 

N- Need...My needs are met. We have a warm house and plenty of food. I have a huge stack of books to read, and library if I ever run out. And plenty of pumpkin spice food to enjoy for the season! (priorities, you gotta' have them) 

K-Kindness...Honestly, I'm never 'enough'.  But in these last couple months where I've been 'super not enough' (if that's such a thing), I've been so thankful for the kindness of others.  Prayers sent, text messages to check in, and words of support. Friends who will wear one of your kids for the 1.5 hour hike through the state park, so you don't have to do a front and back carry with your youngest two. Friends who will come rake leaves with you for hours. Friends who spend their lunch breaks visiting you, because that's way easier than traveling with all the littles. Friends who weave words of affirmation into a conversation that help you see God is making progress in your life. I pray that I may show the same kindness back to them. 

S-Snuggles...Because they grow too fast and you can never get enough.  Apparently this is the new way we are going to blog...with help from the little one. 

Happy Thanksgiving!  May your plate be full of pumpkin pie....lots of pumpkin pie!

~Felicia

Pumpkin Spice Muffins...and why I think baking (and life) is an art not a science.

There are bakers who have to follow the recipe exactly and then there are those who see the directions as suggestions. Either way, you place it in the oven or on the stove and hope for the desired results......yummy food. 

This last month, we made pumpkin muffins and many loaves of pumpkin bread.  This should not come as a surprise to those who know my pumpkin addiction and growing collection of fall memorabilia.  Yes, I do have pumpkin earrings, and yes, people did give me pumpkin snacks and pumpkin baby clothes when my little one was born.  If I had known that would happen, I would have planned all my littles to be born in fall just for the treats and cute clothes. Just kidding...

I make my bread with pumpkin from a real pumpkin (meaning not from a can) so I have to puree it first using my Oyster immersion blender  and drain out the water. Then next is where the art part comes in.  I love my pumpkin spice treats, but my desire to have the energy to raise my kiddos makes me eat healthier.   I substitute coconut oil in most of my baking, cut the sugar by half or a third (or substitute coconut sugar), and use whole wheat flour for part or all of it. Flax seed or chia seed may also be snuck in there.

For me, baking is an art form.  Dumping a little of this or that in the recipe and tailoring it how I like it. There's no guarantee it will turn out perfect (my husband has vetoed using coconut oil in his chicken pot pie crust) but it's always edible and healthier than the original recipe.  

I wish parenting and life in general was more science than art form.  I'd like guaranteed results and a five-step plan for raising amazing children.  Often I feel like I do all the right things, but still don't get the desired results. Lately, we've been adjusting the consequences for certain behaviors for our toddler as the previous ones don't seem to change things.  The new trick is putting all her stuffed animals in time out for a while when certain "naughty" choices are made.  It's frustrating when you can list off the things you've tried....and don't see the hoped for results. 

This definitely has increased my prayer life!  I keep bringing these little ones to my Master Baker asking for help in choosing the right ingredients and methods.  Parenting, baking, and life all involve trying different ingredients and methods, then trusting/praying that it turns out.  I don't always understand the ingredients He chooses to use in the recipe of my life, nor why he chooses certain methods, but I can trust Him for the end result. 

So how did those pumpkin spice muffins with the altered ingredients turn out? Amazing! They are gone, along with many loaves of pumpkin bread since then. I'll include the recipe (original version) below from the Pumpkin Lovers Cookbook in case you want to try it for yourself.

Enjoy and happy baking!

Pumpkin Nut Muffins
1/4 cup oil
1 Cup Pumpkin
2 Eggs
1/4 cup milk
1 1/2 cup sugar
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. allspice
1 tsp. cinnamon

Blend above ingredients. Add:
1 3/4 cup flour
1/2 cup chopped nuts
Mix thoroughly.  Put in greased muffin tins. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes. Makes 1 dozen.

What happened to October?

I've had good intentions of blogging again for a couple weeks....but I still often feel I'm in survival mode after the little one was born.  Having a baby is like dropping all the balls you are juggling, and slowly adding them back in. I feel successful if the kids are fed, and laundry/dishes are done.  The juggling balls that feed my soul (reading and blogging) have struggled to find their new home in our new rhythm. 

Little Pumpkin surprised us by arriving 2 weeks 3 days early.  We spent the morning at the zoo and had her that evening.  It was a scramble to find friends to watch our other littles as some of our family was out of town. Needless to say, we weren't totally ready to cozy in with our little bundle. So she got to tag along with us to clean out the garden the week we got home from the hospital.  I guess that's what happens when you decide to come two weeks early! :-)

It's been a much bigger adjustment to having three than it was to having two.  It feels like there are often two crying or asking for something at the same time. Some days I feel I'm going crazy, while other days I marvel that I get the privilege of raising these three littles.

It's taking me longer to get things in a rhythm for our house, and I don't know when I'll get my brain back.  I feel frustrated when I see the chores I haven't gotten done yet, the books waiting by my chair, or think how long it's been since I wrote anything. But I have to remind myself.....it's only been 5 weeks and one of those weeks I was really sick.

The word I want to leave you with is 'grace'.  Give yourself grace.  When you start to feel overwhelmed or frustrated, step back and evaluate if your goal is reasonable.  Are you asking too much too soon? What is the most important goal and what are secondary goals?  And.....don't give up. Hey! I cleaned the bathrooms today! That's a win! Keep taking steps.

Grace and perseverance

Growth takes time. Anything worth doing....takes time.  Creating and developing works of beauty take time.  Let's give ourselves grace as we take slow and steady steps towards reasonable goals. 

So, forgive me if somethings that I write during this season don't make sense. I feel like one of those old computers where it gives you the percentage left until the program is fully loaded.  My percentage is slowly going up, but we're not fully loaded yet. :-)