10 things to when you are practicing 'social distancing'.

These are different times! My daughter and I are pining away for the time we can meet up with our friends. It's hard not having church or playdates. We are trying to make use of our 'extra time' to get some much needed projects done here.  I'm realizing I can either read the news/social media and pine away my time, or I can invest it. It's time for some creative living to keep ourselves occupied during this 'social distancing'. Here are my ten suggestions for staying occupied:

1. Pray!  If nothing else, spend some extra time praying. There is so much pressure on our president, governors, and mayors from all sides.  I don't know all the right decisions they need to make, but I know the ONE who does.  They need wisdom, strength, courage to face those who critique them, discernment to know the truth. Pray also for your neighbors, city, family, and those in your social sphere.

2.Read: This should be no surprise that I'm suggesting this one!  Now you don't have an excuse of being too busy. :-)  If you need some ideas, here is my list from last year

Last year I read,  Cozy Minimalist Home, Peter Pan, Sacred Holidays, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle , Farmer Boy, Faith, The Life Giving Parent , The Middle Matters, and The Prairie Homestead Cookbook, How to Raise a Wild Child, Teaching from Rest, Action Bible, The Trumpet of the Swan,  and Loving the Little Years (such a great book!).

This spring, we finished Stuart Little, The Tales of Peter Rabbit, and Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle. Now we are reading (and enjoying ) Missy Piggle-Wiggle and the Won't-Walk-The-Dog-Cure. It's so fun to see our read alouds become part of the children's background knowledge. In the middle of a conversation, a child will suddenly remember, "Mama! It's like that boy did in _______(insert name of book)!"

Personally, I'm trying to read all the gardening books (surprise, surprise). But real life isn't allowing me much time to do that now. If you don't enjoy reading, perhaps try listening to a book. Most libraries have audio books available through their websites/apps and Audible is offering free children's stories while schools are canceled. 

(currently reading)

3. Organize: If you remember my goals for this year, I mentioned needing to clean out/set up the school room.  It's done!  Of course, more stuff will be added or tossed as we realize what we'll actually use. But it looks so welcoming, and the cozy chair with the view out two windows is easily one of my favorite spots to sit. We always say....'when I have more time I'll clean that out'. Well....now is the time as everything is canceled.

4. Home Projects: I had also listed hallway trim and stairway carpet on my beginning of year goals list. Thankfully, that was finished also. Now, we are digging, digging and more digging as we dig the post holes for a large fenced in yard. As tiring and sore as we are (and will be when it's done), there's something fulfilling about watching the kids play out in the dirt hill with their dump trucks, while my husband and I take turns with the post hole digger. It's like outdoor family time...while accomplishing a job. I saw a news head line that mentioned we could tell what people are up to during quarantine by checking out the city landfill.  Cleaning out junk and home remodel projects seem to be on many people's brains. Last week, when my husband took our load to the dump, it was the longest line he'd ever seen.  This is the perfect time to get those projects done, when we aren't distracted by everything else.

5. Grow something: I will always encourage growing more things!

Our little greenhouse is stuffed full of thyme, holy basil, oregano, tatsoi, tomatoes, asparagus, chives, and radicchio.  At least half the seeds are sprouted, while the others still sit waiting. I don't have much experience in getting plants to survive long enough to transition to outdoor living. But I figured, if I don't practice I'll never learn. I'd love to be able to grow fresh greens and herbs indoors all year. Fresh Food from Small Spaces  was really inspiring towards using any available space to provide food for yourself.  Growing something, even just one plant, provides a food source and emotional satisfaction in providing for yourself.

OK, I know I said 10 things....but I think the next five are suited for another post. I'd love to hear what you've been up to during this season. Remember, we are all in this together and we need to hold tight to those around us. 

Sojourning with you,

 Felicia

What goes in.....will come out.

Like I mentioned in my goals post, I've been skim reading a lot of nutritional information books lately. There's so much to learn about .....everything, that I can't read everything for detail. So I speed read/skimmed, while taking notes on the important take-aways.

So far I've read:

Eat to Beat Disease: I loved this book! (my husband will probably say that about any book I've done lately as I've eagerly shared stuff with him)  It went through 5 different protective systems in our bodies (Angiogenesis, regeneration/stem cells, microbiome, DNA protection, immune system) and what to eat to support each system. Literally, what we place in our bodies will determine if we are working with our bodies or against them. Everyone knows that if we use the wrong fuel source for our vehicles, or swap the windshield washer fluid with the oil in your car, then it won't function properly. Eventually it will break down. Yet, we think we can put anything in our bodies without consequence.

We are uniquely designed by our Creator with protective systems in place to protect our health.  I love this Hippocrates quote: "Let food by thy medicine and medicine be thy food." The more we can get back to only eating what God made, the better our bodies will function.

Brain Maker: This book discussed the interesting connection between our gut bacteria and our emotional/mental health. Good gut bacteria (eating a diverse source of plant based foods) leads to a more balanced emotional state and reduced risk of Alzheimer/mental disorders. Eating foods rich in prebiotics and probiotics (including fermented foods) sets your gut and emotional/mental health on the right course.

The Art of Fermentation: I truly skimmed this one. It is very in-depth on the cultural background behind each type of fermented foods, which was way more information than I could process. Basically, you can ferment anything you want to.  Cultures around the world have made it part of their dietary regime for thousands of years.

Whole: This book was quite fascinating as it provided an inside look at the biased medical world's treatment of disease and prevention programs, and the one sided reporting of scientific studies, medical successes/failures, and hospital outcomes for patients.  When dealing with health, it is important to get the 'whole' story to heal the 'whole' person.

The China Study  The main idea behind this study, was to eat a whole foods plant based diet. According to the researcher, eating animal products leads to increased heart problems and cancer risks. Eating a plant based diet, reverses heart problems and alleviates many common diseases. I agree that we definitely need to increase our plant based food sources considerably, but I'm not ready to jump on the non-animal food train due to the benefits of bone broth, etc.

The Plant Paradox: Seeds are created to be tough enough to withstand being tossed to the wind, pooped out a bird, or trampled on in the dirt. The author of this book said it's how  we eat plants that causes us problems. His theory was that unless we remove seeds or process them completely, the seed defense systems will work against us in our guts.  While I understood what he said, I don't think I can get completely on board. Though, I will start de-seeding my tomato sauces, and pressure cooking more things.

Cultured:  This book was a fascinating read on the connections between our food sources, gut bacteria, food allergies, inflammation and disease.  The author also included personal stories from his visits with small town farmers, and companies dedicated to creating fermented foods using age old practices. The lack of plant fiber in our diets starves the good gut bacteria in our bodies, which makes them ineffective in doing their jobs. The gut bacteria of an 'average' American is limited compared to someone from a less industrialized area. This book was well written!

Just as with our bodies, what we feed our minds will come out in our lives. I've been feeling so pressed lately trying to keep up with three little ones clambering for food, dogs asking to go out, laundry and dishes piling up, and food to cook/bake. A question I have to ask myself is: "Is this best? Will this information source or activity achieve my desired goals?"   The podcasts and music I listen to, books and news sources I read, and activities/discussions I participate in are part of forming my life. What goes in, will come out in my attitude, expectations, and ability to achieve personal goals (or lack thereof). 

On a small scale, I see it when my kids relate to me concepts they picked up from kids books and shows. Ideas that weren't overtly taught are picked up on, and expressed in future situations. This definitely makes me a lot "choosier" when it comes to books/shows for them. This last week, at the used bookstore, my daughter was perusing the books trying to find the perfect one to take home. I was getting impatient ready to head home with the cranky baby, but she was taking her time to find one that wasn't "dumb" or "creepy". It was time well spent waiting as she discerned what would be good food for her brain.

Whew!  There's so much to learn in life, isn't there? I'd love to hear what you've been learning about! Please send me a DM on Instagram or leave me a comment. 

Sojourning with you,

 Felicia

What to do when you are aching for a dream.

Spring feels so far away, as I zip up my coat and pull on my hood to keep me warm from the February wind. Yet, it taunts me with patches of brown grass, lakes of melted snow under my van, and the feeling of warm sunshine. If it would actually help speed it up, I would plug my hair dryer into an extension cord and start melting each snow drift one by one. I desperately long to be warm and to not get stuck in snow drifts or slide on ice in my yard. I'm waiting for the day when I don't have to bundle up against the strong arctic wind.

What do you do when you are longing for a dream? Do you sit and idle the time away? Do you watch the clock and desperately mark off calendar days?  It may seem like nothing else matters if we can't have the dream. Everything else feels worthless without the one thing we are hoping for.  There are times to sit and let yourself be sad. We are only human, not superheros. But is there something we can do in the difficult waiting?

Instead of focusing on what you can't do, focus on what you can do. I can't plant my garden, build a fenced in yard for the dogs, or enjoy a deck now. But I can start seeds now so I can transplant them outside when it's warm enough. I can read gardening books or peruse seed catalogs and websites, to decide what I'm ordering for seeds vs. plants. (Side note: There's these blue potatoes I'm super excited to try this year!  And dragon carrots! That's a carrot even my kids get excited about. Dragons....who wouldn't get excited?) And I can work on our kitchen and school room projects. We'll obviously
need those rooms even when it's nice out, so I might as well finish them now while I'm waiting to be able to work outside.

Perhaps it's a friend or family member I can't spend time with now. I only see my brother and his family twice a year, but I can send video messages, social media messages, and texts to maintain frequent contact. I can make sure the time we do have together is intentional and special. I can also invest in near-by-friends who feel like family, the same as I would want others who live near my family to invest in them.

Sometimes it's easy to get consumed by what we can't have now, that we miss what we do have. (see my previous blog post for more explanation)  There are so many opportunities to love people and invest in them all around us. Sometimes I feel useless in this small child stage of life, and that people must think bad of me for not volunteering to help with a lot of group projects. Realistically, it's just not possible to visit sick people in hospitals, or visit older people in homes with lots of breakable things. I can't help much with projects, when I'm trying to keep toddlers from running off. But I can pray for people. I can bring meals or send cards. I can check on them to see how a big event went in their week.

Most importantly, I must make sure I am ready when that dream comes true. Imagine if the captain of the ship ordered the anchor raised, and the sails made ready to leave, but the crew hadn't packed their stuff or gathered provisions for the journey yet. In Matthew 25, Jesus tells the parable of the 10 virgins waiting for the bridegroom to come. They knew he was coming and they eagerly anticipated this 'dream' coming true. But only 5 made sure they were ready by purchasing extra oil for their lamps. The other 5 were caught unprepared, and missed the wedding feast. I want my ship to be prepped for sailing when my captain tells me to lift anchor.

What can we do to prepare ourselves, our surroundings, or others? Make a list today. If "_____" were to happen today, what would I need to have ready? Who do I need to talk to? What do I need to learn first?

The story is told of a mom who often gave jobs to her kids as they waited for supper to be cooked. The hungry, whining kids were given jobs of setting the table, putting away groceries, cleaning the kitchen etc. The idea was to 'be busy while you wait'.

Whether we are waiting for Jesus's return (how exciting that will be!), to see a family member or friend, an exciting trip/adventure, or simply spring to come.....there is much we can do. Let's 'be busy while we wait', and not be caught unprepared when our captain calls us to sail.

Grieving the loss of a dream

We can make the best plans, pray a lot, and do our part in following through on a dream. Yet, some dreams will not happen.....or at least not in the time frame we were hoping for. Lost dreams and plans stink. Some are gone forever...and some just require a longer wait time. We don't always know why it happened, or even the deeper reason of why God didn't make it happen. But we can trust that it wasn't a surprise to Him.

January didn't happen as expected, hence my long absence here. It was an exhausting month, from which we are recuperating. Within a matter of weeks, we had a blizzard (which required hours of digging/snow blowing), my brother's wedding (which we were all involved in), and a miscarriage at 11 weeks. Needless to say, some parts of life had to be put on hold so we had time to shovel, celebrate, and mourn. 

I (as most moms) always fear miscarrying a child, as the statistics are 1 in 4 women will experience one. And I never take my lovely healthy kiddos for granted. Indeed I have much to be grateful for in this situation.....though I still mourn the loss. I feel like a new member of a sad club of people whose heart will always be missing a piece. 

(my husband's work sent us a memorial candle)

What do you do when your dream is lost? When timelines come and go that would have been filled with meaning...but now lie empty? When others continue to celebrate their dreams and you sincerely rejoice with them.....yet feel an inner ache? 

Here's some thoughts for responding to lost dreams...whatever type they may be. 

1. Let yourself grieve.  

Don't keep it pent up inside. Sometimes all I needed was to post it on Instagram for it to be acknowledged as real, and then I could move on for the day. Sometimes.....you just need to eat dark chocolate (which has some serious health benefits, by the way!) Give yourself space, and breathing room in your schedule to just 'be'. 

2. Tell people. 

We are meant to live in community, with each person supporting the other. We each have our seasons of hardship and celebration, and we need each other to pull us through the one to anticipate the other. 

3. Be thankful.

In the midst of grieving what you had hoped for, don't forget what you already have. To cling too tightly to what you can't have, is in a sense, to negate the value of what you do have. Focus on the gifts you have received. 

4. Look forward.

A loss is not the end. It hurts like a gut punch, but it is not the end. There are second chances, new opportunities, and possibilities of this dream being fulfilled at a different time. There are also ways God wants to work in and through you in this tough season. He can use this to draw you to Himself, and help you pour blessing into others. 

At the funeral for a dear elderly member of our church who had fought long and hard with cancer, I overheard her daughter sharing about her dad.  She said they 'had plans'. After he took the time to grieve and go through his wife's possessions, he wasn't going to just stay in that moment. They had travel plans and adventures to live. I was impressed with their attitude. If anyone deserves to just sit in that grief, it's a spouse who's been married for decades. But he realized that his life wasn't over, though he had lost the one most dear to him.  To keep on "living" was also a way to honor his wife's wishes and legacy. 

If you are sitting with the loss of a dream, remember to let yourself grieve. Don't ignore it. Tell someone who can provide support. Be thankful for what you have been blessed with and look forward in anticipation for how God wants to work in your life. 

Sojourning with you, 

Felicia

Year Word and Year Goals

Well, it is currently blowing like crazy and we are forecasted to have up to eight inches of snow today. The drifts are over the drive, and we are tucked inside admiring the view. Part of the joys of having kids is reliving your childhood. My oldest and I went out exploring snowdrifts just like when I was a kid. This storm is definitely fulfilling my winter bucket. Hopefully the wind will slow down and it will warm up so we can go play in it.

2020 is looking to be a very active year.  My goals may sound a little crazy, but you have to have something to aim for. :-)

Here is my list of goals for 2020:
1. Read 10 books: yes, I know this is less than last year's goal. But I've been doing a lot of skimming of health and nutrition books lately which don't really count towards my goal, (skimming vs. reading) but allow me to learn a bunch of helpful information.  So, I decided a more reasonable goal is reading 10 books this year.

2. Cook/Bake/Make 52 new recipes: I have some cookbooks I'm excited to try, and my eye on a couple more I want to add to my collection. My husband is also urging me to 'attempt' meal planning so he's not met with the same 3 meals each time he asks what's for supper. ;-)

3. Secret Family Project (no, we are not moving again)

4. Plant trees: While we don't know anything about orchards, we are hoping to plant one in the NW corner of our property. We also need to add in wind break trees around our house to help with protection from the weather.

5. Plant a large garden: I'm excited to have our garden at the house this year, instead of having to drive there. We 'll have space to plant longer growing season crops (pumpkins, squash, etc) and we can add to the soil as we wish.

6. Get chickens: We are hopeful......but again this is something we have never tried before.

7. House projects: Our next project is carpeting our stairs and installing trim work in the hallway. I say 'we', but it's mostly my husband and I just get to help as needed.

8. Set up a school routine (which means we need to set up a school room first): my oldest is begging me to teach her to read...which means the school room needs to be set up in functioning order so I can mentally process better.

9. Nature Journaling: We regularly hike with our Wild and Free group, but I haven't done much with nature journaling yet. There's a Wild and Free nature class I would like to take and I would like to learn about watercolors and phenology wheels.

10.  Unpacking/decluttering: I feel like unpacking comes in stages. There's the initial unpacking where you unpack the main things (clothes, toys, kitchen, etc).  Then you unpack more in each room as you build or finish projects in those rooms (installing a bathroom vanity, hanging up laundry room shelving). There's also the downsizing that happens as you unpack (Why do I still have this?).


My word for this year is focus. I'm highly distracted by 'shiny things' and all the things I'm 'supposed' to be doing to be a good person/mom etc.  There's a thousand research articles and books promising to make you smart, and a lot of 'good' activities calling us to be part of them. But when you focus in with a camera, the background becomes blurry and only the main object stands out. I want to focus on what's most important (what the goal is), and not get sidetracked by what's in the background.

How about you? What do you hope for in 2020? What areas would you like to grow in? How can I help you with that? Please send me a message or leave a comment. :-)

Sojourning with you,
 Felicia

Goals and wishes

How is it January 10th? Wasn't Christmas just yesterday? I feel like the last month has been a blur of activity and I'm still trying to get my planner broke in. Though my calendar and planner may be behind, I've been pretty excited dreaming of our goals for this year. Honestly, at times I just want to sit in the middle of the floor and not even try because some projects seem overwhelming.  But if I look at the big picture (which is what we were discussing at Bible study last night), then I'm excited to see what God will do.

Let's start with last year's goals:
1. Read 12 books this year

Update: Update: I finished Cozy Minimalist Home, Peter Pan, Sacred Holidays, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle , Farmer Boy, Faith, The Life Giving Parent , The Middle Matters, and The Prairie Homestead Cookbook, How to Raise a Wild Child, Teaching from Rest, Action Bible, The Trumpet of the Swan (technically we read the last chapter this year, but I'll count it for last year's goal) and Loving the Little Years (such a great book!).

That's 14 books finished! A pretty successful reading year!

2. Explore the alphabet with my preschooler: Goal completed.

3. Identify 5 plants/tracks: Technically…..my goal is completed. But is learning about nature ever a completed goal?

4. Get rid of 50 things: completed

5. Learn to make more things from scratch: done

6. Prepare for secret project: We moved!  We bought our little "farm" and are excited for the adventures to come.

7. Blog/writing (I have ideas…but life seems to take all my time)

8. Finish 2nd kids baby book and do the 3rd kid’s book:  I finished the newborn photo book for the third kiddo, just not all the first year photos.

9. Clean out freezer and use up pantry: The freezer is significantly emptier!

10. Do 10 projects with the little ones: zoo trips, splash park, etc. We had an active summer!

As I think about goals for 2020, I have to remember what I wrote in so many posts this last year. The goal isn't perfection, or mastery or even completion. The goal is ...to do something. Where ever you are, move one step closer to where you want to be. The comparison isn't between you and the person next to you, nor you and the person you want to be. It's between you and who you were.

One of my goals this month is to create a school room. Right now, it's a storage room with boxes from our old basement, office, kids' stuff, and randomness. Today I called it "hopeful discouragement". It's overwhelming looking at the piles that I literally don't know what to do with. But it's hopeful as I see small spaces clear out and give room for dreams of what could be in that space. I can't do it all today or even this week. But I can do this one box. I can unpack those books. I can throw away those items. I can do...something.

As you pray and process what you want to do in 2020, remember to make it realistic with small steps you can regularly take. But more importantly, make them goals that matter. Do these goals align with God's calling for you? Do they enrich the lives of others? Will they make a long term difference, not just for today?

To finish, I'd like to introduce you to our new family member.

Boaz joined our family at Christmas this year and we love him! He is tough enough to wrestle with our Aussie, yet sweet and calm. This summer will be fun watching the dogs run around the newly fenced in yard.  He's going to be a big dog as he's just a pup, yet already 26 lbs. Look at that sweet face though!

I hope your new year was filled with thankfulness for how God worked in 2019 and anticipation for His plans in 2020. 

Sojourning with you,

 Felicia

Gifts are made to be shared!

Yes, it is Christmas. And yes, I am writing. But not because I'm avoiding family. But rather because the oldest two are napping, so it's time for some personal time doing what Mama enjoys....reading and writing. This has been one of the most beautiful and fulfilling Christmases. This morning, my husband and I were trying to figure out why.  It's partially because my oldest is my miniature me, full of love for traditions, holiday, special activities, candles, and decorations. It makes it really fun to have a little side kick who appreciates it with as much gusto as I do! It's also partially because the kids are older and thus better able to participate in our activities. But mainly it's because of God's gift to us of a new dream and a new home this year. We finally feel like we "fit".

Here our dreams of gardens and animals are no longer silenced. The kids can run and play, and we have room for learning and for hosting. But like I wrote in my post Home, home is a gift that is more enjoyable shared.  A friend who is notoriously cold came over to visit recently. As soon as she walked in we offered her fuzzy socks and a fleece blanket and she responded "This house is cozy!". I silently cheered as my goal of creating a welcoming place to land was fulfilled.

Gifts are made to be be shared. 

Being part of an office, my husband often partakes of random treats brought in by coworkers. But instead of simply enjoying them himself, he brings home a portion of my favorites to share his joy with me.  

Gifts are made to be shared.

Recently, we got to meet some adorable black lab puppies with the intent of picking out our Christmas surprise. After we played with them, discussed personalities, and....yes....got a bit 'wet' from the puppies, we thanked our friend for letting us come. She responded something to the effect of, "Of course! That's part of the fun, sharing with others!"

Gifts are made to be shared.

Earlier this month, my son and I were cooking up the last of our pumpkins, while we listened to Christmas music and my daughter made Christmas crafts. It was literally a perfect "Instagram" moment.  Yet, I was lonely for some adult company in that moment.  Gifts are made to be shared. Having my husband there to watch the kids together would have made it perfect. 

The best two gifts I've received this year are the gift of Jesus' forgiveness and the hope of His return. Recently, I've been contemplating my need to forgive others out of the depth He has forgiven me. This gift is meant to be shared. Jesus is waiting, as a gift for you to open this Christmas. He's my favorite gift to share and the one for which I'm most thankful.  And His offer stands, that He's coming back for all who choose Him. Will you open His gift? 

This Christmas, which gift will you share? Is it the gift of your home, your food, or a favorite tradition? Simply giving the gift of your time is of arguably greater importance. My heart grieves this year thinking of friends who've lost family members. As you eat leftover ham with homemade cranberry sauce (mmmmmm!), my prayer is that you'll open up and enjoy the greatest gift...Jesus. 

Merry Christmas from my loud house of a new puppy, excited children, our original dog who is freaking out about the puppy, and a highly verbal toddler. May you have blessed moments with family, and may the loudest ones take naps. 

Sojourning with you,

Felicia