Know your limits

I wish I was a super hero..... young and with unlimited time and energy.  I have such big dreams for what I want to accomplish each week, but I fall short of those goals every time. This last week I've been especially mindful of my new personal limits.  From Sunday through Wednesday, I had pretty rough headaches which were (I think) still part of my recovery from having this cute little baby . Then Tuesday, I invited a friend over to bake cookies and bread with us. I was such a mess with a bad headache, trying to care for the baby, help the crying toddler, bake/decorate cookies, bake bread, and entertain my guest. It all turned out fine and everyone had fun, but I was exhausted! At the end of the day, I told my husband "I'm realizing my limits are lower than they used to be."

In order to say "yes" to the best things, you have to say "no" to other things. And because I've said 'yes' to three beautiful children, I have to say 'no' to other good things.  I don't have the mental capacity or time to do it all. With each little one I have, and family activity we commit to, my limits for other activities decrease. 

We each have limits that fluctuate through the seasons and years.  Sickness, moves, having a baby, being exhausted from toddlers, caring for aging family members, time sensitive projects, emotionally rough seasons.....all of this affects our limits on what we can say 'yes' to. 

This doesn't make me a bad mom. Though I often feel like it because I can't keep up with all the books to read, learning activities I should be doing, etc.  (If I can just keep up with the dishes, I'll be happy!) I recently compared myself with someone else who started a project similar to mine, and felt like a loser because of her success rate.  Until I realized that it wasn't our ability, but rather what we had chosen to say 'yes' to. My strongest 'yes's' will always be to my family and keeping my littles at home.  Because of this, I can't say 'yes' to as much, nor be able to give as much time to my personal projects. This makes me a better mom, better friend, better person to know my limits and not allow myself to needlessly run to the point of exhaustion (though there will still be moments).

This Christmas, and really....all year round, instead of comparing our holiday or our regular days with some invented standard and feeling frustrated with not measuring up. Let's rejoice in our 'yes's', and do our best to fulfill them.  

For some who have recently lost someone, that may mean taking a break from holiday festivities this year. For me, it means less cards sent, less baking, less pretty packages (that will get ripped open by toddlers if left unsupervised), and more time spent creating memories. 

Let's choose the best yes's, know our limits, and be ok with the no's.  Let's do our best at what is most important, and let the rest go.

Merry Christmas!  May your weekend be peaceful and full of the wonder of His birth and time with dear ones. 

Quick moments of slow

I can hardly believe that Christmas is in a week and a half!  Do you feel like I do that it seems so far away, then 'Bam!' it's next week?  I think Christmas may just carry through January for us, because there's no way we can read all the Christmas books or do all the Advent activities I want to before then.

I started out this Advent season with many dreams of the books we would read, crafts done, and activities experienced together.  But then....you guessed it....life happened. We have read books, and made a couple crafts, but there have been many hurried mornings where there wasn't time to count our advent chain or read our books. Diapers, breakfast, the dog or crying children demand my attention, and leave little room for advent dreams.

My unrealistic, idealist dream would be to spend all next week in my jammies, reading Christmas books, baking, and doing crafty things. But reality?  There's still grocery shopping, laundry and dishes (especially if we bake), and house cleaning (that I skipped this week, so I can't really skip next week).  The toddler and preschooler will still fight, and diapers will need to be changed. Reality is a lot messier than my dream week.

But reality makes the quick moments of slow even more special. When we squeeze in a craft, it's a brief moment to pause.  Like coming up for air or taking a sip of cold water on a hot day. It's what makes the messy diapers, the potty training accidents, the tantrums, and exhaustion worth it. When we can slowdown together to remember our Savior coming to join us in our messy world.

Can I let you in on a secret? Some of my favorite moments of the day are when the baby refuses to sleep just yet, and I get to snuggle her after everyone else has gone to sleep....and it's quiet...perfectly quiet. Everything is still, and holy, and I just get to 'be' in that moment and smell her sweet little head. The Christmas lights give off a special glow in the late night hours. But those moments don't last forever, as I'm usually quiet tired and need to head to bed.  The alarm will go off early even if I'm up late.

What's your quick moment of slow?  Perhaps it's to pause to drink your cup of tea each afternoon.  Or your morning walk, or listening to Christmas songs while you do the dishes.  Perhaps you also sit for a few moments to enjoy the lights, and reflect your blessings.

These quick moments remind us that there is more than the hustle and business of work and housework.  There are people to love, events to celebrate, blessings to give thanks for, a world to explore, and a Savior born here for us.

 A sweet friend wisely shared this week that we all have "Instagram worthy" moments, it's just a matter of seeing them the right way.  I don't know about you, but I often long for the quiet peaceful moments  and festive activities I see on my Instagram account.   But reality is, those pictures were probably taking in just as messy of a setting as my own household, but they applied a filter to the photo to bring out the beauty of it. Today we made gingerbread cookies, and baked the pieces to make a gingerbread house later. It was a messy process multitasking the dough, the crying toddler, the barking dog, and timing the baking just right. But if you looked closely, past the noise, the smelly trash can, and toddler crys.....there was an "Instagram moment" where daddy and daughter worked together to cut out tiny gingerbread trees.

As we count down the days till Christmas, may you have many quick moments of slow. Moments where you slow down, even for a five minute moment, to just enjoy the season, lights, and ponder our Savior's birth again. As you sip your hot chocolate, remember your blessings.

This year I'm thankful for little ones who rejoice in all the activities, a husband who grants my holiday wishes, and my Savior who lovingly came to live in our mess so we can go live with Him one day.

Merry Christmas!
Felicia

P.S. I read through this book and enjoyed it!


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When your Advent season is kinda messy....

I've been super excited to add to our Christmas activities this year as our daughter is old enough to understand it's Jesus' birthday, loves books, knows presents are coming, loves any sort of craft/baking/etc that we can do. We made an advent 'Names of Jesus' countdown paper chain, and we are reading tons of books from the library.  The library has so many Christmas books, that I seriously think we'll be reading Christmas books all through January. 

But Advent can be kinda messy.  It's spent reading through one of our Christmas books, while simultaneously feeding the baby, giving more bread to the toddler, and trying to sneak in my own breakfast. It's spent reading our nightly 'Jesse Tree' story while trying to keep the book out of a snotty toddlers hands. It's spent explaining to a bawling preschooler that the reason you aren't putting the shepherd out with the nativity set yet, is that she gets to look for him each morning along with our book/activity for the day. (yes, she really did have a come apart when she saw he was missing).  At times, I wonder if it's worth the work put in to celebrate Advent.

This Advent season is messy. 

I spent this morning at a memorial service for a beloved mom of five, who lost her life to cancer. She lived her life fully to the end, and was not afraid to die because she knew Jesus was waiting for her.  But she left behind her heartbroken husband of over 25 years. five children, and family and friends.  Everyone was brought to tears by the touching eulogy her husband wrote and shared for her. 

This Advent season is messy. 

But, wasn't Jesus' "Advent season" messy too? He spent it in a cow's feeding trough, with animals all around. Born in an animal shelter because no one had space for him. His party guests included the shepherds fresh from the field (like they probably smelled of sheep and field). In less than 2 years, he would have to flee for his life from the king right after receiving grand gifts from foreign travelers.  Jesus knows all about 'messy advents'.  He came to earth to be in our mess. Jesus came to set people free from the mess of sin, and to restore all the broken messes of the past. He came to bring new life, and a hope that surpasses all the messes of this world.  Jesus specializes in messes, and restoring messed up people. 

So this advent season, whether you are in the middle of diaper changes, puke clean ups, and potty training, or whether you are reeling with difficult news that you never expected...remember that messes are Jesus' specialty. He restores us from the messes of our past, and he walks us through the messes of our present. Advent is a season of waiting and anticipation. Anticipating Christmas with all its festivities, laughter, food and gifts.  But an even greater anticipation of Jesus' return to rescue us from our mess and take us to be with Him forever. 

Advent can be messy......but Jesus specializes in redeeming broken messes. 

"Even so, come, Lord Jesus!" Rev. 22:20