Stop the glare!

Sleep is a precious commodity around here. I'm usually still up at least once a night for an hour with our youngest (and sometimes the others).  The rare nights where we sleep all the way through are miraculous and remind me that the seasons pass quickly.  I try praying and I've thought about reading, but to be honest...I usually just doze in the chair while I'm waiting for her to go back to sleep. But if you get a message from me at 3:30 in the morning, it's because my brain suddenly remembered everything I've forgotten to do over the last 24 hours. 

The other night I was checking something on my phone while waiting for the baby, and I heard something strange from the other side of the room. But since the room was so dark and my screen so bright in comparison, I literally had to put my hand over the screen to stop the glare so I could see the other side of the room.  I had to stop the glare to see what was really there.  (Good news: it was just my cat.)

It hit me in that moment (because all the deep thoughts always come in the middle of the night) that too often I let the "glare" blind me from what is really there. I often think I have to achieve some standard of ...well ....everything.  But why? Because I see someone else posted on Facebook? Because the experts say I should? Because society will judge me? Because I fear what people will say? Too often the glare of social media, online influences, society, and peer pressure.....and yes, our own personal "trying to be someone" blind us from what is reality.  We see the shining lights of other people's supposed successes, and think we need to achieve that.

God's 'reality' is actually pretty simple. "Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'...And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Matthew 22:37, 39  Our two standards are to love God and love others. James says it like this: "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  So if we love Jesus and love others well, we are reaching the standard.

When I stand before Him, He's not going to ask how many books I read, what I can cook from scratch, how many board games we own, or how big our house is. He simply wants to know if I love His Son, and if I loved other people well.  He doesn't care about the land we own, our bank account, the inheritance we leave our kids, or anything we 'accomplish' in life that we feel somehow matters.  Instead He asks: 'Do you love me? Do you love others as you love yourself?'

The things we do are not the standard.  What we do merely reflects our love for God and others. I cook from scratch to love my family, and my husband collects board games with the dream of playing them with our kids.

Too often I let the glare blind me. My husband often calls me from the kitchen after I finish my nightly chores, because I got stuck scrolling social media thinking of the "What if?'s, What could be's?, and 'Maybe I should do____ like that person did.'

Meanwhile, reality is waiting for me in the living room. It often comes in the form of a question as I greet my husband when he comes home from work. When I apologize for everything I didn't get done that day, he simply responds with "Did you take care of the kids?" Loving God and loving other are really the only two standards to live up to.

Let's stop the glare and the voices calling our name, and instead listen to the only voice that matters. He says: 'Love me and love those around you.'.   That's all that matters.

Sojourning with you,
Felicia

Dreaming of all the things!

So you guys know one of my goals this year was to learn to cook "all the things". So it only seems fitting that my Mother's Day gift was this delightful book The Prairie Homestead Cookbook by Jill Winger!  And I just received From Freezer to Table and Love Real Food  in the mail for my birthday. :-)  Now....to make the time to read through the recipes instead of just making what I'm comfortable with.....

I just finished reading The Prairie Homestead Cookbook and totally loved it! Yes, I said reading it.  It's so much more than a cookbook. It contains tips, anecdotes, notes on how to raise chickens and cows, gardening how-to's, pantry must haves, canning instructions, and how to preserve crispy pickles. It's like a manual on how to do basic homesteading. :-)

As Jill talks about in her book (and I agree with) there's a misunderstanding out there that "homesteading" is all or nothing. That you either cook all your own food from scratch or you don't.  But she suggests that there are many different versions of 'homesteading' and I'll add that there are different levels of homesteading.  In today's society, it's not realistic to have a full garden or raise your own animals when many people live in apartments, townhouses, full shade yards so things don't grow well (like ours), or work hours that make it difficult to complete tasks at home. 

Just like in my post The Way to Big Things is Small Steps , the important thing is to start somewhere. I can't garden at my house, but I can have a plot at the local community garden. During this last pregnancy, I stopped making kombucha and milk kefir because I couldn't handle anything extra during a season of tough morning sickness. (Note: I still haven't started doing those things, because.....toddlers).  But I can make my own yogurt in the Instant Pot and our bread in the bread machine. (I'm so thankful for kitchen machines!)

There are some people who do more 'homesteading' while living in the city than some who live in the country. 'Homesteading' isn't so much about location as a personal decision to make more things from scratch, to know where your food comes from, and learning new skills to become self-sufficient.  

Honestly...around here....new cooking skills are slow to come. Time seems to go so fast with three littles running around that I usually resort to things we've done before. As with anything, it takes practice.  These hot pockets in the picture above....were amazing but I only made them once as the dough needs to be started during the day (which means I have to think about supper way in advance). But the biscuits and gravy below have been made so many times, the recipe is almost memorized!  I love that I can make a double batch of the biscuits and freeze them in smaller portions to toss in the oven for quick biscuits and gravy. There's not time to cook full meals everyday, but I can double something and freeze part of it to pull out next time. 

One of the big points in the introduction to the book was just to do .....something. Too often we get overwhelmed by looking at what others are doing, or the big goal seems so far away that we never even take the first step. Our youngest has been learning to crawl and pull herself up on furniture over the last month. Imagine if she were to see her siblings running around and go cry in the corner because she couldn't run like a preschooler yet. We would think it's silly because as adults we know that it takes practice and time (and lots of frustrated grunts) for her, as a baby, to learn to stand, walk and eventually run. Yet, we don't give ourselves the same grace for our adult goals.

How about you? What one step can you take towards your goal?  Is there a recipe or skill you want to learn? Is there a book to read or a person to contact? Let's give ourselves the grace of practice, time and yes.... 'frustrated grunts'. Believe me, I've had plenty of bread loaves not turn out, food get burned, and my family politely eat food that hadn't turned out as I planned. I'm sure I've uttered many frustrated grunts along the way. :-)  But let's keep taking steps together!

Sojourning with you, 

Felicia

Being grateful while you are in the middle of everything!

Hello,
Hopefully you are able to stay cool this week!  We've been having 90's coupled with humidity, so we are staying indoors each afternoon. Since summer came, my reading has certainly slacked off.  I keep seeing these posts about people's summer book lists since they aren't busy with school. Do you read more in the summer or winter? 

Speaking of books, I just finished a delightful book by one of my favorite authors, The Middle Matters. Lisa-Jo Baker wrote this book as a series of essays or love letters for the middle years of raising kiddos. We certainly live in an age where 'more', 'better', 'faster' is pushed, and there's a plethora of information available to us on how to improve our life. I know I'm constantly pinning things or saving them to boards on Instagram. But what if we stepped back and just marveled at the beauty of our current season, instead of rushing to the next one.

This is not a deep read (you know the kind you read with a notebook in hand, which are good but take you a really long time to read), no this is a relaxing read. The kind you can totally read while you rock the baby swing, hold a kid, squeeze into a few free moments between kitchen duties, or relax with an ice tea in the evening.  It was an easy, refreshing read that was like small moments with a dear friend tucked into the busyness of life. :-)

Here's some of the nuggets I loved:

"This throbbing harmony of how loved we are. If only we would listen. If only we would stop listening to our measuring sticks and scales, these voices that we need to quit, and start listening to our promises. For God Himself says, "I will never leave you or abandon you" (Hebrews 13:5, CSB)."

"Forty, I discover, is a new beginning, and my friends hold the door wide open for me. A welcome arrival into a time when we get to choose more of what we love and less of what we used to think mattered. More friendship, less comparison. More generosity, less competition.  More slow, less rush. More savor, less striving. More gathering, less hosting. More casual, less stressed. .....Where you can make room at the table for your sisters coming up behind you, as well as those already further down the road. ...Where you know deep down in your bones that we are better together because we are all part of a body infinitely valuable to the God who names each one of us priceless."

"Compassion leans in and listens. Fear screams and chases us away. Fear is a terrible teacher and an even worse parent."

"We live in a world where the Enemy wants to trick us women into building walls between one another. Walls of comparison and insecurity and jealousy. But we are mentored by a God who builds walls of protection around His friends. A God who willingly walked into the dark to trade His life for the lives of His friends. Those who betrayed Him, denied Him, and abandoned Him. Those who hadn't been born yet and those who don't even know His name. He laid down His life and in so doing raised a fortress of protection with walls thicker than the castle of our fairy tales-solid and unshakable." 

I don't know about you, but most of the posts I save on Pinterest or Instagram are snapshots of the life I want to create with my family. Often dreams can seem far away and difficult to reach. But I've been realizing lately, that truly we have arrived. Our goals for our littles are to love Jesus, care for family and friends, and care for this world around us. When I hear them sing our memory verse songs, see them help me unload the dishwasher, and watch them marvel over ants and butterflies, I realize this is the moment we have dreamed of.  Everything else is a progression from this moment. And as much as I'm excited to see how they grow, I'm celebrating this season of adventure and exploration. :-)

As Lisa-Jo talks about in her book, there is such beauty in friendships proven through time and shared grief and joy. There is inexpressible joy in seeing your child develop in his/her character. There is romance in faithfulness and steadfast serving of one another. There is beauty in the ordinary moments of life lived together. 

Pick up this book if you want an easy light reading that celebrates the beauty of life, children, marriage and friendship.  It reads like notes from a dear friend that you can sneak into quick 15 minute breaks in the busyness of life. 

Celebrating each season with you,

Felicia

This book was given as complementary copy by NetGalley and WaterBrook & Multnomah, in exchange for my honest review.  However all opinions are mine (I have the highlighted sections to prove it!). 

7 lessons in 7 years: part 2

Since last time's post went much longer than I expected, here are the remaining three lessons. If you didn't read that one, you can find it here.

5. Find out what's most important to the other person. This could be in figuring out their love language. It could also mean what's most important to them in caring for the house. It's also figuring out what's most annoying to them if it doesn't happen, then make sure it does! :-) My husband is a great chef, but is highly bothered by mess. So he's totally fine with cooking supper each night, as long as I keep the kitchen in decent shape so he has space to work.  Each person has a different way they receive value and different priorities for family life.

6. Listen to God. The biggest piece of marriage advice I would give anyone is listen to the Holy Spirit. Over and over again in the middle of a frustrating conversation, one of us takes a breather then comes back to apologize. You'll often find me stepping into another room, or silently praying for help when things get tense. More often than not, my heart is softened and my half of the problem is pointed out by the Holy Spirit. I've also learned that I don't need to point out his wrongs. If I leave it be, I can trust Jesus to change his heart as well. The key is I have to listen.  The Spirit is waiting to convict, soften hearts, and restore...but I have to be ready to hear it and act on it.

7. Celebrate with Cherry Coke! He proposed to me over Cherry Coke (like he seriously drove us to town to buy Cherry Cokes and back to my parents house again, so he could get over his nerves to ask me to marry him), and Cherry Coke was a requirement in our hospital bag for our first baby. It's our 'go to' when the kids get stressful, and it was a staple for date night (until we started trying to be healthy).  Find something that is 'your thing'.  Something that is part of your culture as a couple/family.

I dream big dreams and I want big growth/progress moments. But what I'm learning in life is also true in marriage. Small repeated actions lead to health. Brushing my teeth daily, working out for 30 minutes most mornings, drinking water, choosing a salad.......they aren't really 'fun' but they support my bigger goals.  In marriage, small repeated actions that speak value to the other person provides the strength needed to keep saying "I do" even on the sleepless nights when all the kids are up in the night, and everyone is grumpy.

Here's to saying "I do" everyday through small ordinary actions.

Sojourning together,
Felicia