Gifts are made to be shared!

Yes, it is Christmas. And yes, I am writing. But not because I'm avoiding family. But rather because the oldest two are napping, so it's time for some personal time doing what Mama enjoys....reading and writing. This has been one of the most beautiful and fulfilling Christmases. This morning, my husband and I were trying to figure out why.  It's partially because my oldest is my miniature me, full of love for traditions, holiday, special activities, candles, and decorations. It makes it really fun to have a little side kick who appreciates it with as much gusto as I do! It's also partially because the kids are older and thus better able to participate in our activities. But mainly it's because of God's gift to us of a new dream and a new home this year. We finally feel like we "fit".

Here our dreams of gardens and animals are no longer silenced. The kids can run and play, and we have room for learning and for hosting. But like I wrote in my post Home, home is a gift that is more enjoyable shared.  A friend who is notoriously cold came over to visit recently. As soon as she walked in we offered her fuzzy socks and a fleece blanket and she responded "This house is cozy!". I silently cheered as my goal of creating a welcoming place to land was fulfilled.

Gifts are made to be be shared. 

Being part of an office, my husband often partakes of random treats brought in by coworkers. But instead of simply enjoying them himself, he brings home a portion of my favorites to share his joy with me.  

Gifts are made to be shared.

Recently, we got to meet some adorable black lab puppies with the intent of picking out our Christmas surprise. After we played with them, discussed personalities, and....yes....got a bit 'wet' from the puppies, we thanked our friend for letting us come. She responded something to the effect of, "Of course! That's part of the fun, sharing with others!"

Gifts are made to be shared.

Earlier this month, my son and I were cooking up the last of our pumpkins, while we listened to Christmas music and my daughter made Christmas crafts. It was literally a perfect "Instagram" moment.  Yet, I was lonely for some adult company in that moment.  Gifts are made to be shared. Having my husband there to watch the kids together would have made it perfect. 

The best two gifts I've received this year are the gift of Jesus' forgiveness and the hope of His return. Recently, I've been contemplating my need to forgive others out of the depth He has forgiven me. This gift is meant to be shared. Jesus is waiting, as a gift for you to open this Christmas. He's my favorite gift to share and the one for which I'm most thankful.  And His offer stands, that He's coming back for all who choose Him. Will you open His gift? 

This Christmas, which gift will you share? Is it the gift of your home, your food, or a favorite tradition? Simply giving the gift of your time is of arguably greater importance. My heart grieves this year thinking of friends who've lost family members. As you eat leftover ham with homemade cranberry sauce (mmmmmm!), my prayer is that you'll open up and enjoy the greatest gift...Jesus. 

Merry Christmas from my loud house of a new puppy, excited children, our original dog who is freaking out about the puppy, and a highly verbal toddler. May you have blessed moments with family, and may the loudest ones take naps. 

Sojourning with you,

Felicia

Gratitude is a verb

I feel like the holidays rush into each other at the speed of a freight train. We celebrate Thanksgiving, then the next day it's Christmas already! This being the first holiday season in our new house makes me even more thankful for new traditions, more space for hosting people, and enjoying the winter wonderland views from the living room windows.

We had such a blessed Thanksgiving with family and adopted family! My heart was filled to overflowing with joy and thankfulness to the point of tears.....though I was weary by day's end. Filling two tables with loved ones and food fulfills some deep part of me. One of the best parts was when we went around to share what we were thankful for over the last year. 

We wrote them on little scraps of paper, then shared them with the group. My daughter collected them so we could hang them on our 'gratitude tree'.  Gratitude for bacon, trucks, family, health, Jesus, spouses, and new seasons of life were hung up on the tree as yellow and red 'leaves of gratitude'. 

Gratitude changes people. It lifts the tiredness, strengthens weary arms, and helps to carry a heavy burden. It gives new focus and renewed appreciation for what you have. 

Whenever I hear of a loved one struggling with health issues, suddenly the petty concerns in my life fade.  My perspective quickly changes as I'm reminded again not to take health for granted, and to simply be thankful for health and family, letting everything else fall to the side. 

One day as we walked into Costco, I randomly (I think God timed it) started explaining to my kids how people that worked to protect our country wear special veteran hats or coats. We talked about watching for them and telling them 'Thank you'.  Well, as I'm sure you can guess, as we walked down the main aisle there suddenly was a veteran shopping near us.  "Excuse me sir!" I said to get his attention, then turned to talk to my daughter. "This is what I was just telling you about! Do you see his special hat? That means he fought to protect our country."

(I got tears in my eyes when I told this story to my husband) Those beautiful little blue preschool eyes looked up at the elderly gentleman and said in her sweet, unprompted voice......"Thank you!"

The gentleman began to share his story and how he knew of an even older veteran. Gratitude changes people. That day in Costco, that man was noticed and appreciated for how he had lived his life by a little girl with blue eyes.

Recently we purchased a used bedroom set and needed to pick it up from the owners. The gentleman was a retired serviceman who had served over 40 years. I noticed his hat collection, and thanked him for serving our country. As the night progressed while we were loading up the bedroom set, he began to share details of where he met his wife and where he had been stationed. When everything was finally loaded, he bid us farewell, sent holiday best wishes, and thanked us for our support. His countenance changed when he was noticed and appreciated for his life's work. Gratitude changes people. 

Who else needs to hear these words? Is it the busy checker at the store? Is it a faithful friend who always listens? Is it a veteran wearing a special hat? It's too common in our culture to take people for granted, and to be self-focused instead of expressing appreciation for those around us. 

But gratitude gives strength to the weary, courage to the fearful, and a sense of value to those who feel ignored. When you are noticed and appreciated for something you have done, it makes you want to serve more. It also makes you start noticing how others have served you. Gratitude becomes contagious, as you spread it to others. 

In this busy season of shopping, parties, programs and preparations, can we be people of gratitude? People who are not too busy to notice those around us and tell them we appreciate their work. 

I'm thankful for you. Thank you for sharing this space with me and for your patience when I don't show up during busy seasons. You make my heart happy and I'm grateful for our time together. 

Sojourning with you,

 Felicia

Home

Home becomes a big deal when the holidays come around, doesn't it?  With phrases like "home for the holidays"or "I'll be home for Christmas" and the push for cozy 'homey' decor during the cold season.

(I love our new bathroom wall!)

We've been working on setting up our home, because we just moved in. The first couple of days felt like all our stuff was moved into someone else's house. It felt like we were temporarily staying at someone's rental, and I just wanted to go home. But the more we have unpacked, painted, completed projects...the more it feels like our home. 

Nights and weekends have been spent painting, building, digging, doing plumbing, etc because we feel driven to make a place of beauty and rest. As a wife and mom, I want my family to exhale in relief when they walk in the door and feel deep down joy at being home. For our home to be a place to grow, learn, talk, and rest. I know I will feel more at rest when we finish more projects. 

Here up north, there's a tendency to complain when the winter months come and seasonal depression to happen. I read a well written article on the secret to happiness in winter time based on Norway's culture. They suggested lots of candles, fireplaces, drinking lots and lots of hot drinks, dressing for the weather, and celebrating the activities/features of winter that aren't available the rest of the year. As I write this, I'm cozy with my pumpkin blanket and my Golden Chai tea. Especially when the wind starts to howl this winter, I want home to be cozy and full of cheer. 

(me feeling cozy and warm in my new scarf my friend made)

When God gave us this house, He left a string attached. He handed it to us with the understanding it was to be used for Him. This wasn't ours to hold tight, and hide away. It's to be used with open hands as a resting place, a refuge from city life, and a place for people to step back and breath. Each week we usually have multiple people out to eat or play games. Come summer time when the fence is built, friends with kids can bring them out to run wild in the yard. In Medieval times, the Keep was the inmost part of a a castle built to protect the most vulnerable and to be a place of refuge during battle. It is this idea of refuge that rings in my heart. 

Using a home in service for others doesn't require it to be finished nor clean. ;-)  This last week, my friend Tina invited some of us over for lunch and play time after a hike. She honestly warned us that she didn't remember the state of her home, and thought she probably had laundry sitting out. You know what I remember about her house? Her reading library, fall decor, and hospitality as we chatted over tea and the noise of children running around. I'm sure her dirty dishes and baskets of laundry just made my own kids feel more at home. :-) 

Home is a gift...for yourself and for others. It's a place you create so when someone walks in they say "Mmm, I'm glad to be home." Perfection and clean dishes are not required. Just love and hospitality.....and maybe some tea. 

How are you cultivating beauty in your home? How are you using it to bless others? What part of your home do you like the most? Please send me a message! I'd love to hear!

Sojourning with you,

 Felicia

Be kind....it's contagious!

Cold season is upon us as the weather has changed and snow came yesterday. Colds of the sickness type are also here with runny noses and coughs. I've been trying to use chicken stock for soups and noodles as much as I can, and encouraging everyone to take naps.  Yesterday, the house smelled delicious as I simmered our elderberry syrup on the stove...a mixture of elderberries, cinnamon, cloves, and ginger.  Mmmmm!  Seriously, they should make an elderberry candle and I would buy it. It smells sooooo good!

Cold season has it's own social rules where you must warn others if you are sick, stay home if you are too sick, and be careful of catching other people's germs. 'Contagious' is the big question everyone asks. "Am I contagious?"  No one wants to be kept in bed for the day....unless you are a cat.

I've been thinking how kindness is also contagious. When your kids are little, it's hard to tell what they are picking up from you. You say and do things in the hope that they will follow suit one day.  At our house, it's easy to tell which parent the kid learned each specific phrase from. But as my oldest grows up, she's demonstrating that she's been listening all along. Before running errands, we pray together each morning "Help us be a blessing to those around us today." Lately, God has been answering that prayer and opening our eyes to how we can bless others. 

Monday morning, we were getting ready to run errands when my daughter looked at her beloved turtle craft hanging on the fridge and announced, "I want to do something kind for the Aldi employees! I want to take my picture to them."  However in the rush to get out the door, we forgot. Once in the van, she remembered her planned act of kindness and asked me to go get it.  When you look in your daughter's beautiful blue eyes and see her heart longing to surprise a stranger with a gift from her heart....you can't say 'no'. So we ran back in the house to grab the picture, and off we went to the store.  

At Aldi, she carefully carried around her precious picture looking for the right employee to give it to. We agreed the cashier would be a good choice. As we checked out, she started telling him about the turtle picture (which he complemented) and then presented him with her treasure. I explained the morning's conversation so he would understand the significance of this gift. He very graciously told my daughter he would have to place it in the store office so it would be safe. 

In a bustling world, where we run here and there trying to get everything done......how often do we stop to show kindness. Reality is my daughter's 'art' was a piece of paper with scrap ribbon glued to it. But in that moment, she told the cashier that he mattered and we appreciated him. (He is a pretty cool cashier, we've had conversations with him before)  Filled with that joy, his cup is fuller to be able to pour into others. 

One night this week, I was out under the stars waiting for the dog to stretch her legs. I heard two different flocks of geese or ducks as they flew overhead. I couldn't see them in the dark, but I could hear their constant honks of encouragement to each other as they flew over. Each one honking "I'm here! Are you there? How are you? Keep flying!"  As they flew over my head, I heard the rush of their wings beating together to keep the group flying together. Their honks and wings working in unison to encourage one another on in their journey.

In this season of cold weather and colds, let's remember that kindness is contagious too. The kindness the coffee barista showed me in creating a pumpkin spice drink for me in a mocha season and the kindness of my husband encouraging me to take 'mom breaks' to write and drink coffee feed my heart so I can pour out into our kids.

I'm raising my wings with you, and honking in encouragement. "Keep flying!  I'm here with you!"  Let's spur one another one, passing on kindness (and hopefully not germs) and encourage one another on in our journeys.

I'd love to know how you've received encouragement lately!  Please send me a message or leave a comment.
Sojourning with you,
 Felicia

Why I've been gone

Was my last post literally in August and tomorrow is the first of November? I'm so sorry. Life has been so busy the last two months.  But I have terribly missed sharing life with you. Every week I keep listing things I want to write about....and then the week passes and the writing doesn't happen.
:-(  I feel like part of me is missing when I don't write. Honestly, there hasn't been time for much reading, writing, or personal activities for enjoyment. But I'm trying to slowly add them back in.

So do you remember my big goals list for 2019 that I updated my progress on every month or so?  Remember my big secret goal?  I kept saying progress was happening, but I couldn't tell you what it was. Here it is........

We moved!  Not just we moved, but we moved my parents too!  And we bought a house that is going to require some labors of love!  We are exhausted, and excited!  We are so tired each night, but we can't stop because we keep seeing more to do (and seeing finished projects only motivates more). 

We have been longing for a place in the country for a long while. Our hearts have been filled with dreams of gardening at our own house (my old house was too shady), chickens, fruit trees, and developing a place of rest where people can step away for a bit to breath. 

(my "Thank you" flowers from my husband after we moved)

First we moved my parents to their new place, then we packed our family with our dog, cats, and geckos and moved to the country. September was a busy, blurry mad rush of packing and moving. And October has been a busy rush of unpacking and home projects. We've done trim boards in six rooms, painted two rooms, installed laundry room shelving, installed flooring, added bathroom fixtures and vent covers, dug a big hole in the yard where the garage will go and then filled it with gravel, and been adding blinds and wall decor. There is much left to do, but we are so happy with how it is turning out. 

(finding my tea collection!!)

We joke how this house is bringing us closer to Jesus, with all our many prayers mid-project for help in fixing crooked walls or in making sure we don't mess up cutting trim. Though it took the kids a while to adjust, and we are weary and constantly thinking and talking about the plethora of projects on our docket.....we are thankful and excited to see how God uses this place. Our hearts desire is to make a place for our kids to grow up with plenty of sunshine, dirt, frogs, animals, and home grown produce....and a place for people to step away from the noise of the city and be refreshed. 

Please forgive my absences and any future absences.  My planner bears witness of everything I want to write on...when I'm not unpacking a box or measuring the garage site to calculate how much gravel to order. I hope to be back more regularly. I miss writing and miss you all. I do post a little more frequently on Instagram, so please join me there for quick snapshots. 

Meanwhile, I'd love to hear what you have been up to! So please leave a comment or send me a message!

Sojourning with you,

Felicia

Is it fall already?

 The weather is definitely changing!  It's actually been a little brisk in the mornings, and we haven't turned on the window air conditioning lately. I see people mentioning pumpkin spice on Facebook, and even though I'm a fanatic....I'm not ready to dive into fall just yet. We have one last summer get together at the park this week and we are going through a big transition in our family in the next couple weeks.  But after that....you better believe I've been dreaming of what my husband likes to affectionately call the season where "fall just puked in our house" because there is fall decor everywhere! ;-)

I was surprised when I saw my last goals posting was 2 months ago!  I think it was because I wanted to accomplish a few more things before posting about them.

Goals:

1. Read 12 books this year 

Update: I finished Cozy Minimalist Home, Peter Pan, Sacred Holidays, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle , Farmer Boy, Faith, The Life Giving Parent , The Middle Matters, and The Prairie Homestead Cookbook.

9 books is pretty good for being the end of August! 

In my ''to be read pile' are Mother Culture by Karen Andreola,  It's all Under Control by Jennifer Dukes Lee, and Loving the Little Years by Rachel Jankovic. 

These have been relaxing reads and easy to pick up for a quick moment. Loving the Little Years is written from a mom in the trenches with 5 little ones of her own. She writes of real life stories, and inspires me to shepherd my children's hearts. It's All Under Control reminds us we don't have to keep a tight grip on life and it's ok to breath. :-)

2. Explore the alphabet with my preschooler: Goal completed. 

I've been thinking on how to develop our "Morning Time" or Morning Meeting. Each day during breakfast, the kids and I read the Bible and pray (between cleaning up messes, grabbing more food, telling the kids not to stand in their chairs...you get the picture). On my 'good' days :-) I try to add a bit more to it. Currently we've been reading the Action Bible which is written as a comic book, and a poetry book. We just started some basic reading lessons this week(Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons), so I'm excited to see how it goes!  

3. Identify 5 plants/tracks:

Update: Technically.....my goal is completed. But is learning about nature ever a completed goal? I think not. We've been enjoying the flowers in our yard lately. 

Spiraea

4. Get rid of 50 things: 

Update: Completed!!  The total will be much more than 50, but I stopped counting. 

5. Learn to make more things from scratch.

Update: While I can't think of anything new I've made, I did get some new cookbooks! From Freezer to Table and Love Real Food  My favorite enchilada recipient is from the Love Real Food book and I've heard great things about the Freezer to Table book! 

6. Prepare for secret project: News coming soon!  That's why you haven't heard much from me on Instagram lately. I've been busy preparing for this secret goal. :-)

7. Blog/writing (I have ideas…but life seems to take all my time)

Update: At least I'm writing each week...mostly. It definitely is life giving to be able to write. 

8. Finish 2nd kids baby book and do the 3rd kid’s book: no updates....just wishful thinking.

9. Clean out freezer and use up pantry (you know all those unmarked surprise dishes you find in the back of your freezer? yah….)

Update: The freezer is significantly emptier!  

10. Do 10 projects with the little ones. 

Update:I feel like our zoo trips, library visits, nature walks, planting the garden, watering the deck plants, riding bikes, visiting the spray park, playing games, and coloring should count for this goal.

Honestly, this "secret project" has taken over our thinking lately, so forgive my lack of goal completion. I promise it is worth it.....and someday we'll get back to 'regular programming' (whatever that looks like). ;-)

Sojourning with you,

 Felicia

~affiliate links included in post

Listening for the music

Part of why I love fall so much is the opportunity to slow down and cozy in. This summer we spent hiking, visiting parks, spray parks, the zoo, and lots of play dates. Summer break for school kids goes so fast, that we try and cram in all the fun with our friends we can before they head back.  At one point, even my social preschooler asked why we were going everywhere all the time (but when asked, she admitted she didn't really want to stay home).  When you think about it, it's only about eight-ish weeks of play-dates.

Jokingly I started saying that my mission this summer was to introduce everyone to nature. :-)  We visited the Arboretum with three different groups of friends along with our own visits just as a family. We also introduced friends to the love of nature hikes. This coming week marks the end of our summer shenanigans as all of our friends are heading back to the regular school rhythms of fall. Which is fine with me as our family is also preparing for a big life change (more news to come in future blog posts).

Often in the busyness of life, the noise hinders us from hearing the music. I know today it's been hard to hear it as my kiddos fight, tempers flare, and babies don't nap. It's hard to remember our purpose, and our "why" for our decisions when the noise fills our ears. But it's still there if we stop and listen closely.

One night as I was cooking dinner, my daughter started dancing and said "When you cook, it makes me bang my feet! It makes a song when you bang it." (mixing up the food)  It made me chuckle, and it made me think.  The music is in the ordinary life. The dramatic notes on high or low days are not what carry the beat, it's the everyday tasks and day in/day out caring for other people. 

Some days I feel my song is lost and I don't remember the words. Some days I just try to make it through the day with everyone safe and the house in order...ish. But when I see my daughter get up early and come down to sit by her daddy on the couch....both of them reading their Bibles side-by-side....my ears catch the notes of my song again. This....this is why we do what we do. The tough choices, the careful spending, the research, the long conversations and prayer over the littles, and the crawling in bed exhausted each night (and sometimes crawling back out at 3 am to feed the baby, then crawling back in again). 

When I see the love for each other in my kids' eyes, when I hear them sing all the songs and verses we've learned together, when they sit and read books quietly.....my song comes back to me. 

What's your why? Do you hear your music playing above the noise of life? Society will try to drag you into so many rabbit trails and mazes to make your head spin and you lose sight of who you are. 

In Max Lucado's book The Song of the King, three knights set out through the forest to reach the castle and win the princess's hand in marriage. Each day the King would play a song on his flute to help them know the way to the castle.  However, creatures of the forest also played flute songs and imitated the Kings's song in an effort to throw the knights off course. Who won the competition? (spoiler alert)  Was it the strongest or bravest?   No, it was the one who asked the King's son to journey with him, so he could memorize the King's song and follow those notes despite all the imitation music that tried to deceive him. 

Let's remember our why, keep our ears in tune with our song, and refuse to let the noise and busyness of life drag us off course. 

Sojourning with you, 

Felicia

Habits are the ribbons that hold our lives together.

After a busy couple of days of end of summer play-dates, visiting the dog groomer, and running errands, it's been nice to be home in our normal routine today. Our family thrives on simple habitual actions through out the day. Each morning, the kids and I meet over breakfast to read our Bible, pray, work on memory work (months, days of week, numbers, verses), read poems/story, etc. The other day I was preparing my breakfast smoothie early, and my daughter exclaimed "But mom you're supposed to have that during Bible time!"  Nap-time involves two stories, prayer and then tucked in bed. After each meal, the kids help clear the table. 

When we return from trips, meeting at the breakfast table for cheerios and "Morning Time" bring a sense of relief as we settle back into our rhythm. Rhythms and routines ground us after being tossed around by the busyness of life. Recently I shared with a dear friend how I want to start reading lessons with my preschooler soon. She suggested that I wait until after our big transition coming soon. But I responded how with all the chaos and uncertainty coming up, my kiddos needed the stability of still meeting each morning to eat, read, and learn together. Sometimes.....I need it more than them.

Recently I listened to this podcast on Habits on the Charlotte Mason Poetry site and it made me think about my daily choices. Raising little ones definitely makes me reevaluate my actions/habits, as I consider what I want to pass on to them.  We all have habits (habitual responses, unconscience decisions, etc) both good and bad that direct our daily lives. Our sub conscience is trained to think, act, and speak certain ways. Without thought (seemingly) we drive to work, greet people, make judgement calls about situations, etc. Sometimes it can feel like we are a 'victim' of our sub conscience or habits, rather than realizing that we (or others) have trained it.

Choosing to develop a new habit is hard. It's like exercising a new muscle and requires intentional thought. At first, it may be awkward, painful, or frustrating, but with time it becomes natural and part of our sub conscience training. The key is intentionally choosing it over a period of TIME. As with exercise, each time we choose it, that muscle grows. Brushing their teeth before bed is an automatic action for my kids. Because they thought it was fun? No, because I intentionally choose it for them each night until it became automatic.

Two of the take away's from the podcast were:
1. Developing/teaching good habits in order to have healthy automatic actions/responses.
2. Developing discernment to recognize when our automatic responses/actions are wrong and what the appropriate replacement habit is.

Remember, you can't eat an elephant in one bite. Personal growth and teaching habits to others needs to be sustainable, and in bite size portions. :-) If it's not doable, we won't do it. :-) 

We're in this together.

Sojourning with you,
Felicia

Wading Through Truth

We just met this morning to map out our school year with our co-op, so my head is spinning with books, classes, nature journals, and hikes. I also just received a copy of the Gentle and Classical Preschool Guide (I won the giveaway!) and am anxious to peruse that to make plans for this fall.  I feel our days go smoother when I have some structured moments mixed in with their imaginary play. And my kiddos love "school time"!  Planners, notebooks, and lists make me happy, so I'm anxiously awaiting a day to look over our Wild and Free group plans and our preschool book so I can get them into my planner.

Speaking of books, I just finished The Life Giving Parent by Clay and Sally Clarkson. Some books you can pick up for easy reading between activities like The Middle Matters, while other books require time to concentrate while having paper and pen handy to take notes. The Life Giving Parent  requires waders as the authors will quickly take you in deep down a river of truth.  Meant to be read alongside The Life Giving Table and The Life Giving Home, this book answers the question of how to live as a 'life giving parent' in order to create a 'life giving home' and have 'life giving' experiences at your family table.  

The topics cover our children's Spirit, Heart, Mind, Will, Faith, Character, and Imagination. The authors discuss the importance of knowing your child's personality to be able to communicate truths specifically to him/her, and emphasize the importance of living out what you expect of your kids as truths/morals are always more easily 'caught' than 'taught'. 

Here are some of my favorite nuggets from the book:

"Parent them with the end in mind....When you begin parenting with the end in mind, you will make the most of the time you have to shape and influence your child's heart and mind for God."

"God doesn't want us to let mediocrity crowd out excellence in our mind; He wants us to train our appetites to appreciate beauty and excellence."

"Our deepest conviction was that the most important learning for our children would not be what happened in a classroom but what transpired in the informal settings of our home."

The end of the book really hit home. While discussing the history of the nation of Israel, they made the statement "the future of Israel is in the hands of it's parents".  They went on to describe Daniel being taken captive, then given a ruling position in a foreign government because of his faithfulness to God and his honorable character. Daniel's parents didn't know what Daniel would have to face in his lifetime. But their diligence to invest in him at home returned great rewards in a foreign court. 

Not knowing what the future will hold for my kiddos, I want to invest what I can now to give them to best possible foundation for their lives. This lesson also applies to any people that cross my path. How can I be a help and not a hindrance to what God is doing in their lives? 

Sojourning with you,

Felicia

PS. This book was given to me for review purposes by the Tyndale Publishing Company, but all opinions are mine.  

Stop the glare!

Sleep is a precious commodity around here. I'm usually still up at least once a night for an hour with our youngest (and sometimes the others).  The rare nights where we sleep all the way through are miraculous and remind me that the seasons pass quickly.  I try praying and I've thought about reading, but to be honest...I usually just doze in the chair while I'm waiting for her to go back to sleep. But if you get a message from me at 3:30 in the morning, it's because my brain suddenly remembered everything I've forgotten to do over the last 24 hours. 

The other night I was checking something on my phone while waiting for the baby, and I heard something strange from the other side of the room. But since the room was so dark and my screen so bright in comparison, I literally had to put my hand over the screen to stop the glare so I could see the other side of the room.  I had to stop the glare to see what was really there.  (Good news: it was just my cat.)

It hit me in that moment (because all the deep thoughts always come in the middle of the night) that too often I let the "glare" blind me from what is really there. I often think I have to achieve some standard of ...well ....everything.  But why? Because I see someone else posted on Facebook? Because the experts say I should? Because society will judge me? Because I fear what people will say? Too often the glare of social media, online influences, society, and peer pressure.....and yes, our own personal "trying to be someone" blind us from what is reality.  We see the shining lights of other people's supposed successes, and think we need to achieve that.

God's 'reality' is actually pretty simple. "Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'...And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Matthew 22:37, 39  Our two standards are to love God and love others. James says it like this: "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  So if we love Jesus and love others well, we are reaching the standard.

When I stand before Him, He's not going to ask how many books I read, what I can cook from scratch, how many board games we own, or how big our house is. He simply wants to know if I love His Son, and if I loved other people well.  He doesn't care about the land we own, our bank account, the inheritance we leave our kids, or anything we 'accomplish' in life that we feel somehow matters.  Instead He asks: 'Do you love me? Do you love others as you love yourself?'

The things we do are not the standard.  What we do merely reflects our love for God and others. I cook from scratch to love my family, and my husband collects board games with the dream of playing them with our kids.

Too often I let the glare blind me. My husband often calls me from the kitchen after I finish my nightly chores, because I got stuck scrolling social media thinking of the "What if?'s, What could be's?, and 'Maybe I should do____ like that person did.'

Meanwhile, reality is waiting for me in the living room. It often comes in the form of a question as I greet my husband when he comes home from work. When I apologize for everything I didn't get done that day, he simply responds with "Did you take care of the kids?" Loving God and loving other are really the only two standards to live up to.

Let's stop the glare and the voices calling our name, and instead listen to the only voice that matters. He says: 'Love me and love those around you.'.   That's all that matters.

Sojourning with you,
Felicia

Dreaming of all the things!

So you guys know one of my goals this year was to learn to cook "all the things". So it only seems fitting that my Mother's Day gift was this delightful book The Prairie Homestead Cookbook by Jill Winger!  And I just received From Freezer to Table and Love Real Food  in the mail for my birthday. :-)  Now....to make the time to read through the recipes instead of just making what I'm comfortable with.....

I just finished reading The Prairie Homestead Cookbook and totally loved it! Yes, I said reading it.  It's so much more than a cookbook. It contains tips, anecdotes, notes on how to raise chickens and cows, gardening how-to's, pantry must haves, canning instructions, and how to preserve crispy pickles. It's like a manual on how to do basic homesteading. :-)

As Jill talks about in her book (and I agree with) there's a misunderstanding out there that "homesteading" is all or nothing. That you either cook all your own food from scratch or you don't.  But she suggests that there are many different versions of 'homesteading' and I'll add that there are different levels of homesteading.  In today's society, it's not realistic to have a full garden or raise your own animals when many people live in apartments, townhouses, full shade yards so things don't grow well (like ours), or work hours that make it difficult to complete tasks at home. 

Just like in my post The Way to Big Things is Small Steps , the important thing is to start somewhere. I can't garden at my house, but I can have a plot at the local community garden. During this last pregnancy, I stopped making kombucha and milk kefir because I couldn't handle anything extra during a season of tough morning sickness. (Note: I still haven't started doing those things, because.....toddlers).  But I can make my own yogurt in the Instant Pot and our bread in the bread machine. (I'm so thankful for kitchen machines!)

There are some people who do more 'homesteading' while living in the city than some who live in the country. 'Homesteading' isn't so much about location as a personal decision to make more things from scratch, to know where your food comes from, and learning new skills to become self-sufficient.  

Honestly...around here....new cooking skills are slow to come. Time seems to go so fast with three littles running around that I usually resort to things we've done before. As with anything, it takes practice.  These hot pockets in the picture above....were amazing but I only made them once as the dough needs to be started during the day (which means I have to think about supper way in advance). But the biscuits and gravy below have been made so many times, the recipe is almost memorized!  I love that I can make a double batch of the biscuits and freeze them in smaller portions to toss in the oven for quick biscuits and gravy. There's not time to cook full meals everyday, but I can double something and freeze part of it to pull out next time. 

One of the big points in the introduction to the book was just to do .....something. Too often we get overwhelmed by looking at what others are doing, or the big goal seems so far away that we never even take the first step. Our youngest has been learning to crawl and pull herself up on furniture over the last month. Imagine if she were to see her siblings running around and go cry in the corner because she couldn't run like a preschooler yet. We would think it's silly because as adults we know that it takes practice and time (and lots of frustrated grunts) for her, as a baby, to learn to stand, walk and eventually run. Yet, we don't give ourselves the same grace for our adult goals.

How about you? What one step can you take towards your goal?  Is there a recipe or skill you want to learn? Is there a book to read or a person to contact? Let's give ourselves the grace of practice, time and yes.... 'frustrated grunts'. Believe me, I've had plenty of bread loaves not turn out, food get burned, and my family politely eat food that hadn't turned out as I planned. I'm sure I've uttered many frustrated grunts along the way. :-)  But let's keep taking steps together!

Sojourning with you, 

Felicia

Being grateful while you are in the middle of everything!

Hello,
Hopefully you are able to stay cool this week!  We've been having 90's coupled with humidity, so we are staying indoors each afternoon. Since summer came, my reading has certainly slacked off.  I keep seeing these posts about people's summer book lists since they aren't busy with school. Do you read more in the summer or winter? 

Speaking of books, I just finished a delightful book by one of my favorite authors, The Middle Matters. Lisa-Jo Baker wrote this book as a series of essays or love letters for the middle years of raising kiddos. We certainly live in an age where 'more', 'better', 'faster' is pushed, and there's a plethora of information available to us on how to improve our life. I know I'm constantly pinning things or saving them to boards on Instagram. But what if we stepped back and just marveled at the beauty of our current season, instead of rushing to the next one.

This is not a deep read (you know the kind you read with a notebook in hand, which are good but take you a really long time to read), no this is a relaxing read. The kind you can totally read while you rock the baby swing, hold a kid, squeeze into a few free moments between kitchen duties, or relax with an ice tea in the evening.  It was an easy, refreshing read that was like small moments with a dear friend tucked into the busyness of life. :-)

Here's some of the nuggets I loved:

"This throbbing harmony of how loved we are. If only we would listen. If only we would stop listening to our measuring sticks and scales, these voices that we need to quit, and start listening to our promises. For God Himself says, "I will never leave you or abandon you" (Hebrews 13:5, CSB)."

"Forty, I discover, is a new beginning, and my friends hold the door wide open for me. A welcome arrival into a time when we get to choose more of what we love and less of what we used to think mattered. More friendship, less comparison. More generosity, less competition.  More slow, less rush. More savor, less striving. More gathering, less hosting. More casual, less stressed. .....Where you can make room at the table for your sisters coming up behind you, as well as those already further down the road. ...Where you know deep down in your bones that we are better together because we are all part of a body infinitely valuable to the God who names each one of us priceless."

"Compassion leans in and listens. Fear screams and chases us away. Fear is a terrible teacher and an even worse parent."

"We live in a world where the Enemy wants to trick us women into building walls between one another. Walls of comparison and insecurity and jealousy. But we are mentored by a God who builds walls of protection around His friends. A God who willingly walked into the dark to trade His life for the lives of His friends. Those who betrayed Him, denied Him, and abandoned Him. Those who hadn't been born yet and those who don't even know His name. He laid down His life and in so doing raised a fortress of protection with walls thicker than the castle of our fairy tales-solid and unshakable." 

I don't know about you, but most of the posts I save on Pinterest or Instagram are snapshots of the life I want to create with my family. Often dreams can seem far away and difficult to reach. But I've been realizing lately, that truly we have arrived. Our goals for our littles are to love Jesus, care for family and friends, and care for this world around us. When I hear them sing our memory verse songs, see them help me unload the dishwasher, and watch them marvel over ants and butterflies, I realize this is the moment we have dreamed of.  Everything else is a progression from this moment. And as much as I'm excited to see how they grow, I'm celebrating this season of adventure and exploration. :-)

As Lisa-Jo talks about in her book, there is such beauty in friendships proven through time and shared grief and joy. There is inexpressible joy in seeing your child develop in his/her character. There is romance in faithfulness and steadfast serving of one another. There is beauty in the ordinary moments of life lived together. 

Pick up this book if you want an easy light reading that celebrates the beauty of life, children, marriage and friendship.  It reads like notes from a dear friend that you can sneak into quick 15 minute breaks in the busyness of life. 

Celebrating each season with you,

Felicia

This book was given as complementary copy by NetGalley and WaterBrook & Multnomah, in exchange for my honest review.  However all opinions are mine (I have the highlighted sections to prove it!). 

7 lessons in 7 years: part 2

Since last time's post went much longer than I expected, here are the remaining three lessons. If you didn't read that one, you can find it here.

5. Find out what's most important to the other person. This could be in figuring out their love language. It could also mean what's most important to them in caring for the house. It's also figuring out what's most annoying to them if it doesn't happen, then make sure it does! :-) My husband is a great chef, but is highly bothered by mess. So he's totally fine with cooking supper each night, as long as I keep the kitchen in decent shape so he has space to work.  Each person has a different way they receive value and different priorities for family life.

6. Listen to God. The biggest piece of marriage advice I would give anyone is listen to the Holy Spirit. Over and over again in the middle of a frustrating conversation, one of us takes a breather then comes back to apologize. You'll often find me stepping into another room, or silently praying for help when things get tense. More often than not, my heart is softened and my half of the problem is pointed out by the Holy Spirit. I've also learned that I don't need to point out his wrongs. If I leave it be, I can trust Jesus to change his heart as well. The key is I have to listen.  The Spirit is waiting to convict, soften hearts, and restore...but I have to be ready to hear it and act on it.

7. Celebrate with Cherry Coke! He proposed to me over Cherry Coke (like he seriously drove us to town to buy Cherry Cokes and back to my parents house again, so he could get over his nerves to ask me to marry him), and Cherry Coke was a requirement in our hospital bag for our first baby. It's our 'go to' when the kids get stressful, and it was a staple for date night (until we started trying to be healthy).  Find something that is 'your thing'.  Something that is part of your culture as a couple/family.

I dream big dreams and I want big growth/progress moments. But what I'm learning in life is also true in marriage. Small repeated actions lead to health. Brushing my teeth daily, working out for 30 minutes most mornings, drinking water, choosing a salad.......they aren't really 'fun' but they support my bigger goals.  In marriage, small repeated actions that speak value to the other person provides the strength needed to keep saying "I do" even on the sleepless nights when all the kids are up in the night, and everyone is grumpy.

Here's to saying "I do" everyday through small ordinary actions.

Sojourning together,
Felicia

7 lessons in 7 years

This last week we celebrated our 7 year wedding anniversary. Time goes so fast!  Our lives are full, often tired, but so very thankful!  I feel like many movies focus on the sappy drama of meeting someone new or the sad drama of losing someone. But there so much day to day life that happens in between. Laughter, sadness, frustration, joy and....yes....even arguments. So here's my contribution to the beauty of everyday life. Here's 7 lessons learned in 7 years of marriage. Though I'm sure there are many others, this is just what came to mind.

1. The power of doing the little things: My husband lives for his cup of coffee in the morning.  Believe me.....you don't disturb that first cup while he sits on the couch waking up. Tomorrow I'm heading out for a retreat, and he has bravely determined he will watch our littles on his own for the day. I know in order for it to be a successful morning....there must be coffee.  So I've already prepped the coffee maker for him tomorrow. I don't need to have a banner fly behind a plane, or buy an expensive gift, or grill him specialty steaks (he's better at grilling anyway) in order for him to feel loved and cared for. He hears it when I prep the coffee, plan the dinner, sweep the floor or do the dishes.

Often he'll come home from work with some treat he knows I like or he'll make sure to do the dishes (because he knows I hate dishes).  Little things speak volumes.  I read a story once where a man pinpointed the downfall of his marriage to him deciding he was tired of making the morning coffee for his wife.  When he decided to neglect that chore, she decided she didn't feel like packing his lunch anymore. Each action led to another until all the subtle messages of love and support were gone, and their marriage fell apart.

My husband is a capable man and can make coffee, clean the house and cook amazing food. But when I'm faithful in the little things, he hears the message that his success and comfort are top priorities to me.  

2. Own your wrong first: This last weekend, we kept joking that we have had "7 years of marital bliss, with nary an angry word between us!".  As anyone who knows us can attest, we are not quiet people.  And we are human with our own personalities.  Miscommunication and arguments are bound to happen.

 But the key is owning your own wrongdoing first. 

When we each clean up our own part of the mess first, there's not much left to argue over.  When the health of the relationship is your top goal, it makes it much easier to quickly admit where you are wrong. (Note: I didn't say it was 'easy', I said it was easier.)


3. Share household responsibilities in accordance with each person's gifts and personal preferences: My husband loves cooking and he's very good at it, so often he's in charge of that while I watch the kids, clean the kitchen etc. He hates painting and I don't mind it.   So it was a relief to both of us when he gave that task to me! :-)  He no longer needed to worry about it, and I didn't have to nag or wait until he got around to repainting the bathroom or kitchen trim.  If possible share tasks based on preferences.

4. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk talk....(do you get the idea?): I know when my phone rings that it's my husband.... usually because hardly anyone else calls me. But mostly because he makes it a point to call me each day mid-morning when he's on his 15 min walk, and sometimes in the afternoon on the way back from lunch. We text throughout the day, and he's the first person I want to share anything with . 

When you stop talking, you stop getting to know someone. 

I've heard many stories of empty nesters who find themselves with nothing in common, because they didn't keep talking. Clearly talking after having kids isn't as easy as before.  Little interruptions to the conversation are running around the living room. Conversations require creativity. Sometimes they happen during supper prep, or after the kids are dismissed from the meal. They may happen during the 10 minute phone call in the morning, or after the kids are in bed. Or simply through a series of text messages during the day. We also like doing Marco Polo videos....mostly to share the chaos of the day with my husband who sits in his quiet cubicle all day. :-) 

Ooops! This post is going way longer than I was planning....so I'll close with only 4 lessons and continue with the rest next time. 

Remember to keep talking with those you care about. :-)

Sojourning together, 

Felicia

Midyear Goals Update

I feel like summer took forever to start and now it is rushing by!  My husband just had his monthly manager meeting today, and I said "All ready? I feel like you just had one!" We just celebrated Father's Day and it's already the weekend again. Time flies when you have three little ones running and scooting at tornado speed and making just as much of a mess!  The phrase "Trying to clean house with little ones is like trying to sweep during a tornado" is so true! 

Our 7 year wedding anniversary is coming up and we've often thought about how much has changed in those 7 years. The most obvious change is that we used to sleep, eat hot food, and go places whenever we wanted. I hear through the grapevine that we'll get to do those three things again when they get older. :-)  But for now, with my cold food and cup of coffee, I'm just going to enjoy their antics, imaginary adventures, and curiosity about the world. 

Goals:

1. Read 12 books this year 

Update: I finished Cozy Minimalist Home, Peter Pan, Sacred Holidays, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle , Farmer Boy,and Faith.

 I'm currently reading The Life Giving Parent by Clay and Sally Clarkson, Mother Culture by Karen Andreola, The Middle Matters by Lisa Jo Baker, and The Prairie Homestead Cookbook by Jill Winger (this one is part cookbook/part beginning homestead book....and I LOVE it!)

The Middle Matters is a prerelease copy of Lisa-Jo Baker's newest book. I LOVED her other two books Never Unfriended and Surprised by Motherhood, and was eager to read this one. While I haven't loved it as much as the first two, it is definitely a delightful and inspiring read.  I have highlighted so many quotes and shared them on my Instagram account.  It's a series of essays on lessons learned in the 'middle of life' on parenting, friendship, marriage, hospitality, homemaking, etc. It is written in a vary different style than her first two books, but still maintains her insightful perspective on life. 

2. Explore the alphabet with my preschooler: Goal completed. 

I've been thinking on how to develop our "Morning Time" or Morning Meeting. Each day during breakfast, the kids and I read the Bible and pray (between cleaning up messes, grabbing more food, telling the kids not to stand in their chairs...you get the picture). On my 'good' days :-) I try to add a bit more to it. Currently we've been reading the Action Bible which is written as a comic book, Sing a Song of Seasons:a Nature Poem for Each Day of the Year (borrowed from the library), and sometimes a picture book or preschool workbook. 

My oldest just got water color paints and a bunch of art supplies for her birthday, so I've been trying to encourage her to step out in making things on her own. I'd also love for us both to learn about using water colors and colored pencils to do nature journals (one day......).

3. Identify 5 plants/tracks: I think it would be amazing to be able to go on our nature hikes and …..gasp….name what I’m looking at. But, alas! I have no idea. So I ordered some books to give me some clues. 

Update: Technically.....my goal is completed. But is learning about nature ever a completed goal? I think not. We've been enjoying the flowers in our yard lately. 

Spiraea

Irises

4. Get rid of 50 things: 

Update: We now have a couple heaping boxes ready to donate which would totally complete this goal......but they are still waiting here. 

5. Learn to make more things from scratch.

Update: We bought an ice cream maker and made oh so yummy mango frozen yogurt!

It only contains pureed mangos, homemade plain yogurt, sugar, maple syrup, and vanilla. 5 ingredients!  Mmmmm! We bought the freezer bowl ice cream maker version so we don't have to worry about having ice and salt on hand. We used a recipe from The Prairie Homestead Cookbook or you could use this one from the website. 

I also made these delicious ham and cheese pockets from my new Prairie Homestead cookbook!  They were sooo good!  They were fairly easy.....as long as you remember to mix the dough ahead of time so it has time to rise. They also made for an easy leftover lunch the next day. 

6. Prepare for secret project:  making progress

7. Blog/writing (I have ideas…but life seems to take all my time)

Update: At least I'm writing each week...mostly. It definitely is life giving to be able to write. 

8. Finish 2nd kids baby book and do the 3rd kid’s book: no updates....just wishful thinking.

9. Clean out freezer and use up pantry (you know all those unmarked surprise dishes you find in the back of your freezer? yah….)

Update: Mmmm, today I used the leftover butter milk to make buttermilk wholewheat flax seed bread. :-)  It looks wonderful! 

10. Do 10 projects with the little ones. 

Update: I'm thinking I need to redefine this goal. We made cereal box guitars with rubber bands so that counts as a "project".  And today we made a cardboard airplane. But I still feel like our zoo trips, library visits, nature walks, planting the garden, watering the deck plants, riding bikes, visiting the spray park, playing games, and coloring should count for something in this goal.....

How about you? How are you doing with your goals for this year? What's your next baby step? Remember, the only way to eat an elephant is to take one bite at a time. (Though I'm not saying you should eat elephants...)

I'd like to close with this thought from one of my favorite podcasts/blogs. "See needs and meet them."-Risen Motherhood  I taped this phrase above my sink to remind my own heart and to help me as I guide my children in developing servant hearts for those around them. 

Is there something that you need? Something you'd like to learn more about or like to read more of? Something you would like me to be praying for you in? Send me a message on Instagram or Facebook, or comment below. 

Sojourning with you,

Felicia