Long Days of Small Things: a book review

Motherhood......such a perplexing adventure that makes you feel like you are accomplishing nothing while you are actually cultivating future world leaders.  Often I've felt like I came up empty handed before the throne as my friends would talk of helping a widow rake leaves, spending time fasting, participating in children's outreaches, or other active spiritual disciplines that don't seem to fit my baby in the arms, feeding a little one, chasing a toddler stage that I'm in where most of any service time would have been spent making sure my kiddos didn't mess up the actual work others were doing.

It's easy to feel discouraged, wondering if what you do matters and if your hidden (I was going to say, 'quiet', but things aren't really 'quiet' here) activities matter as much as all the formal spiritual disciplines. Devotional times?  Mine have been spent simultaneously feeding a baby or keeping an early rising toddler happy.  Prayer times? Mine are over dishes, or brief moments when I sit.   Solitude?  That's a funny question. :-)

In her book, Long Days of Small Things: Motherhood as a Spiritual Discipline, Catherine McNiel writes of how she learned to recognize God's molding and shaping of her through motherhood.  How pouring out her life for needy little souls was actually the refining fire of God developing the fruits of the Spirit within her. The perseverance and patience required of a parent are constantly more than what one naturally has.

You are endlessly brought to the end of yourself, as God relentlessly works out your selfishness to create His own character. 

While I couldn't connect with some of her use of symbolism or all of her liturgical background, I felt encouraged by her main theme.  Motherhood isn't a side season until I can get back to the more important ways of serving Jesus or the more spiritual ways of developing His character within me, it is the main tool that God is using in me now.  My offerings given with the noise of a hungry baby and the screams of a toddler meltdown can be placed alongside the more public acts of service before His throne.

As with the widow's mite, He doesn't care about the size. He simply cares about our heart and if we are giving him our all.

Now excuse, I hear the baby crying again.........

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Tyndale Publishing for review purposes, but the thoughts recorded are my own.

Seeing Past the Present

Being a mom of two little ones is exhausting and I give much applause to those ahead of me on this journey with more kids than I do. Someone asked me recently how I do it.  How do I survive the tantrums, the simultaneous crying, the constant requests for 'mo num num' (more food) and fits that follow if requests are denied?

I'll be the first to tell you that I don't have super strength.  There's a 24 pack of Cherry Coke sitting on my dryer reserved for weary kid days.  When my husband sees one out, he knows what kind of day it's been.  He'll come home, look me in the eyes and say, "Yep, you're done.".  There are days where the only goal for the day is keep the children alive, cause not much else will get done.  When I just want to cry cause I'm tired, but I don't want to go to bed because  I want to enjoy this quiet moment with the man I married (but hardly see as we are each assigned a kid each night) and have an adult conversation.  Plus, I know that I'll need to wake up and go through the regular morning 'emergency room'  routine again of everyone being so hungry they just can't function.

How do I do it?

Well, clearly Jesus has to be at the top of the list.  He probably actually invented everything on my list of coping strategies right?  I mean.....he did make cherries.....for Cherry Coke, right?

But,seriously, one of the main things He's helped me realize is I can't fixate on the present.   If I stay fixed on the present I'll just see cracker crumbs, toddler emotions, little hands getting in the way, and lots of messes.

But that's not forever.   

I remember when she was just learning to walk.  Now she uses her miniature broom to  'help' me sweep.  One day, she will sweep a house of her own.  I remember when she could only say "kitty'.  Now she uses all the words in her vocabulary (plus a lot I don't understand) to try to communicate her wants and convince us of her plans.  One day, she will influence the world through her written and spoken language. I remember when her little hands were just learning to grab things.  Now she can fetch needed items and clean up her toys. One day, her hands will rescue others, grow food, write books, serve her neighbor, etc.

The present can be overwhelming at times. Especially if you don't see much fruit from your labor that day.  But the present is temporary and passes quickly.

I'm thankful the Lord sees my finished product and doesn't give up on my present condition. 

Philippians 1:6(NIV)

6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Since I know I'm still in process, it gives me more grace to give to my little ones in process.   Just as I 'tag along' with Jesus to learn from his example, they follow me around (and never leave me alone for a moment) because they are learning from mine.  

Lord, please help me see past the present.  Help me to see your story for their lives and your goals for them. Please help me give them the grace you pour on me as you continue the 'good work' you've begun in me.

Because, today her little hands are trying to press all the buttons on this computer while I type, but one day she will send her own message to the world. 

The next step in our journey

The last four months have been a series of choices.....choices to choose trust over fear.  It began with taking our pregnancy test. Being friends with some dear ladies who have either lost precious little ones or who long for them but are unable to have them, puts a different perspective on having my own. It is not a blessing to be taken for granted (as if we should take any blessing for granted), but rather an event to be received with gratitude and to be held with a loose grasp.

Knowing that every pregnancy carries its natural risks, and that life is never guaranteed to any of us, I  was fearful to make the news public....afraid in case something went 'wrong'.   Gently, the Lord whispered...."Trust me".

With each step of telling people at school or at church, my fear battled my trust.  I kept fearing the what if's, while the Lord kept whispering the 'trust me's'.

What if I tell people at school, then you take the baby to Heaven?          Trust me.
What if I post our 'announcement' on social media,  to immediately follow it with a sad one?    Trust me.
What about the risk of SIDS? What about all the other possible things that could go wrong?   Continually, the Lord whispers.....'Trust me.  Trust me that no matter what happens I will walk through it with you. Trust me that through the mountains and valleys, you will not go it alone. Trust me that I have a purpose that I want to accomplish in your life through every situation you go through.  Trust me, that nothing is a surprise to me. Trust me."

Somehow with all my vast four months of experience (ha!), I have a feeling that this is only the beginning of learning to trust God for this little one.