Growth hurts

A friend once told me that God answered her prayers by helping her learn to cook and I heard on the Risen Motherhood podcast that God helped her in learning to keep house......

This got me to thinking. If Jesus can part seas, calm storms, multiply bread and fish, raise the dead, etc.......then growing me in the things that weigh on my heart must be doable.  Compared to all that, organizing my laundry room, getting anything accomplished while raising three littles, navigating the energy level of a toddler boy, and keeping the dishes at a maintainable level must be simple...right? So instead of praying for world peace, right now I'm just praying for peace here and that we would be messengers of peace to others. Literally my morning prayers with my kids are "help us to get our jobs done and help us to be a blessing to others".  Because when you are navigating sibling squabbles, a hungry baby, and a barking dog...only by God's strength can you accomplish big things.

But the thing about growth, is that sometimes it hurts. Sometimes Jesus has to poke at the time wasters, stinky attitudes, 'me first' mentality, and selfishness and pull off all the dead stuff before He can do a new work. Sometimes I just want a moment of mindless scrolling, but then I hear the gentle  reminder of what I need to be doing. And little by little, as I listen to His voice, He pulls the dead stuff off so I can begin to develop new habits of growth. Sometimes that looks like making sure I get up early enough to start the day before the kids, while other times it looks like having the dishwasher ready so my helpful husband can load the supper dishes in. It's definitely not choosing the easy route!

Sometimes growth is messy. There's words said, and tension built. There's tears, prayers, and long conversations. Sometimes you wonder how you'll ever grow past this hurdle. I don't have the answers for I wonder the same things for myself.  I especially wonder it as I raise a little "mini me", a daughter who walks in my footsteps with all the emotions and tendencies. But mess can be cleaned up when the project is done. And I trust the Master Gardener to skillfully work the soil of my life to grow healthy plants....even if it's messy in the process.

 Sometimes growth can feel isolating. It can feel a bit like having a cozy life of 3 or 4 baby plants all growing in the same container and feeling happy all squished together. Meanwhile, the Master Gardener knows that eventually you will all grow big enough to need your own space, and that what was once a "good fit" for you is now unhealthy.  It can feel isolating and stressful to be ripped out of your place and replanted in a new pot. But it is still.....best.  The Lord knows my optimal growing conditions and what I need to survive. 6 years ago, I stepped down from serving in youth ministry with one of my best friends. It felt a bit like being ripped out of a pot where we were all growing together. But I have totally loved facilitating Women's Bible Study these last 6 years, which wouldn't have been possible if I had clung to the sides of my little pot and refused to trust the Master Gardener. 

And let me remind you, Jesus raised the dead. Even if you feel like my poor violet whose stem started rotting from the roots up.....Jesus raises the dead. Sometimes, conditions like these call for drastic measures like cutting off the root system and placing the freshly cut crown into new soil inside a miniature greenhouse in hopes of saving the plant. Trust the Master Gardener. He has your best interests in mind. 

Where ever you are on your journey, with dead leaves waiting to be cleaned out, feeling isolated in a season of tough growth, or flourishing with hope in a new place, trust the Master Gardener.  He will not neglect his garden or toss you aside. He has plans for you to bloom again though the growth process is painful, messy, isolating, and uncomfortable. Those blooms will seem even more beautiful when you consider the journey you've been on. 

Sojourning with you,

Felicia